Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The given graph describe about the quantity of newly opened shops and the shops which are not running in one country since 2011 to 2018.
In [redacted phone] shops open with 6400 shops closed.In [redacted phone] shops open 6000 closure.In [redacted phone] new shops open.2015,2016,2017 the closure ratio was constant that was 4000.In 2018 closed shops were 3000 and number of open shops were 5000.
In 2013 approximately number of opened shops were 7000 and 6200 shops were opened in 2014.Afterthat it remains 4000 in 2015 and 2016.But 5100 shops open in 2018.
The graph shows us about the ratio of closing and opening of shops in different years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word length requirement of 150 words, containing only 109 words, which significantly impacts the Task Achievement score. Furthermore, the selection and reporting of data contain multiple inaccuracies and confusion between shop openings and closures (for instance, stating that in 2015, 2016, and 2017 the closure ratio was constant at 4000, whereas the chart shows closures fluctuating around 5,000 to 6,000 and openings at 4,000). While an attempt is made to present an overview and mention some figures, the data is too imprecise and confused to provide a clear, fully accurate summary of the main features.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The text suffers from a lack of proper paragraphing, consisting mostly of disjointed, single-sentence paragraphs or a compressed block of text. There is very little logical progression or cohesive device usage to guide the reader through the data. References between sentences are occasionally unclear, and the overall structure feels abrupt and poorly organised. The introduction and conclusion are repetitive and fail to provide a cohesive framework for the body data.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, heavily relying on simple terms like "shops", "open", "closed", and "quantity". There are awkward word choices, such as "shops which are not running" instead of closures. Attempts at less common or more precise terminology are absent. Spelling is generally acceptable, but the limited range of vocabulary is insufficient for a higher band, restricting the response to a modest level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The writer demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, relying primarily on simple sentences with frequent omissions of necessary prepositions and articles (e.g., "In 2011 8400 shops open with 6400 shops closed"). There are tense inconsistencies and awkward phrasings throughout the text. While some simple sentences are understandable, error frequency is high relative to the short length of the text, causing noticeable strain for the reader.
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