Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line charts compares the figures of new businesses opened with the number of shops closed in a country over ther period of seven years from 2011 to 2018.
Overall, the highest number of shops closed was observed in 2015, after that an hype in this trend was occurs, which remains constant till 2018; whereas an slump was seen in first year in new shops opened in 2012, in addition to that the trend to new businesses in market starts increasing. From 2014 to 2015 this trend starts decline too fast, and remains constant in nect two consective years, and drop again in 2018.
The largest amount of 9000 shops was opened in 2011;whereas the lowset number was 3000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, standing at only 119 words, which negatively impacts the overall task achievement. While the student attempts to summarise the overall trends, the content contains significant factual inaccuracies when compared against the visual data. For example, the student states that the highest number of shop closures was observed in 2015, whereas the chart shows closures plummeting to 600 in 2015 while peaking at 7,200 in 2013. Furthermore, the description of shop openings contains misinterpretations. Because of the under-length nature of the response and the major data misreadings, this falls under Band 4.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The text is divided into three short paragraphs, including a brief introduction, an overview/body paragraph, and a concluding sentence. However, the logical progression is hindered by confusing transitions and garbled sentence structures, such as 'after that an hype in this trend was occurs' and 'whereas an slump was seen in first year'. Cohesive devices are attempted (e.g., 'whereas', 'in addition to that'), but they are often used incorrectly or mechanically. Paragraphing is rudimentary and the response lacks a clear, cohesive overall structure, warranting a Band 5.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and limited, with several awkward word choices and non-standard collocations. Examples of lexical errors include 'hype' instead of 'spike' or 'surge', 'slump' used incorrectly for openings, and spelling/form errors such as 'ther', 'nect', 'consective', and 'lowset'. While the student attempts some topic-related vocabulary like 'closures', 'openings', and 'businesses', the frequent errors in word choice and spelling significantly impede fluency and strain the reader, placing it at Band 4.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, and attempts at complex sentences are heavily flawed and ungrammatical. Frequent major errors include tense misuse and subject-verb agreement failures, such as 'The line charts compares', 'an hype... was occurs', 'the trend to new businesses... starts increasing', and 'this trend starts decline too fast'. Punctuation is also erratic, with semicolons misused. Because errors are frequent and often cause difficulty or confusion for the reader, the writing corresponds to a Band 4.
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