Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Nowadays, an increasing number of people with health problems are choosing alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their regular doctor. Although some alternative treatments can provide benefits, I believe that this is generally a negative development because they may delay proper medical treatment and can sometimes be unsafe.
One major disadvantage is that alternative medicine may prevent people from receiving appropriate treatment at the right time. Many serious illnesses require accurate diagnosis and scientifically tested medication. If patients rely solely on alternative treatments, they may ignore symptoms that require professional attention. As a result, their condition could become more serious before they seek medical help. For example, a person suffering from a serious infection might use herbal remedies instead of taking prescribed antibiotics, allowing the illness to worsen.
Another concern is that not all alternative treatments have been sufficiently tested for safety and effectiveness. Some products may interact negatively with conventional medicines or cause unwanted side effects. In addition, people may spend considerable amounts of money on treatments that have little proven medical value. This can be particularly problematic for individuals who believe that a treatment is effective simply because it is described as natural.
However, some alternative therapies can be useful when they are used alongside conventional medical care. Treatments such as acupuncture or certain forms of massage may help some people manage pain or stress. Nevertheless, they should not normally be considered a complete replacement for professional medical advice, particularly when someone has a serious health condition.
In conclusion, although alternative treatments can have some benefits, I believe that replacing regular medical care with them is generally a negative development. People should consult qualified medical professionals and use alternative treatments cautiously, particularly for serious illnesses.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 1.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 1.0
The student has written a response about whether choosing alternative medicine is a positive or negative development. However, the assigned task for Academic Task 1 is to summarise a line graph showing the number of shop closures and openings between 2011 and 2018. The student has completely misunderstood the prompt and written a Task 2 essay instead of describing visual data. Because there is no attempt to report main features, trends, or make comparisons from the provided chart, the response is entirely off-topic for this specific task. According to the band descriptors, a submission that is completely irrelevant to the prompt must receive the lowest band score for Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
Although the response is irrelevant to the prompt, the language used exhibits clear overall organisation. The student uses standard essay paragraphing, starting with an introduction that outlines a position, followed by body paragraphs with clear topic sentences (e.g., 'One major disadvantage is...', 'Another concern is...', 'However, some alternative therapies...'), and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'As a result', 'For example', and 'In addition' are used logically to connect ideas within paragraphs. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately for an essay format, representing a Band 6 level of internal text organisation despite the complete task mismatch.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range suited to discussing a health and lifestyle topic. Less common lexical items and collocations are attempted with reasonable success, such as 'alternative medicines', 'scientifically tested medication', 'professional attention', and 'conventional medical care'. There are occasional awkward word choices or minor inaccuracies, but vocabulary usage is generally clear and does not impede communication. Spelling and word formation are accurate throughout the text, corresponding to a Band 6 level for lexical resource.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response features a good mix of simple and complex sentence forms. The writer successfully employs subordinate clauses and conditional structures, such as 'If patients rely solely on alternative treatments, they may ignore symptoms...' and '...although alternative treatments can have some benefits, I believe that...'. While there are a few minor grammatical slips or instances of slightly repetitive syntactic patterns, grammar and punctuation are controlled well enough that meaning is readily transmitted. This demonstrates the characteristics of Band 6 grammatical range and accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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