Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph compares the figures for the number of shops that closed and the number of recent shops that opened in a country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall, the numbers for both declined but the more significant decline was noticed in the number of fresh shops that opened than the number of shops that closed throughout the period.
In 2011, the number of newly opened shops stood at 8,500 approximately which decreased dramatically to 4,000 approximately in 2012. However, after this an incline was noted in 2013 before comming again back to 4,000 in 2015. Then before decreasing to 3,000 in 2018 the numbers remained almost the same for two years.
On the other hand, in the start the numbers of shop closures slightly decreased before reaching its peak in 2012, which was approximately 7,100. Then the figure plunged to the bottom of the chart, which was 800 approximately in 2015, after that it escalated in 2016 up to 5,000 roughly. After that, the figure remained stable untlil 2018.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response covers the main trends in the graph and attempts to make comparisons, but it contains notable inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the number of shop closures in 2015 is reported as 800 approximately, whereas the chart shows it was actually near 600. Similarly, the opening figures and peak timings contain confusion, such as describing 2012 as a peak for closures when the chart shows it was higher in 2013. The overview correctly identifies overall downward trends, but the misinterpretation of specific data points restricts the development of the response. To reach a higher band, the student must ensure that figures and trends are accurately transcribed and reported directly from the visual data without confusion between the two data series.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The text presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, overview, and separate body paragraphs for openings and closures. Cohesive devices are employed to guide the reader through the data, such as 'Overall', 'In 2011', 'However', and 'On the other hand'. However, referencing and cohesion can be slightly mechanical or clumsy in places, as seen in phrases like 'after this an incline was noted in 2013 before comming again back to 4,000 in 2015'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two different categories of shops. To achieve a higher band, the logical progression between sentences needs to be smoother, and cohesive relationships should be managed with greater flexibility rather than relying on repetitive sequential connectors.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, featuring appropriate terms such as 'line graph', 'figures', 'declined', and 'fluctuate'. However, there are noticeable word choice and spelling errors that detract from precision, such as 'recent shops' instead of 'new shops', 'fresh shops', and the spelling error 'comming'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary like 'plunged', 'escalated', and 'stable', but these are occasionally paired with awkward phrasing or minor inaccuracies. To improve, the writer should focus on natural collocations, precise vocabulary for reporting data, and careful proofreading to eliminate basic spelling slips.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and time clauses appropriately. There are, however, some errors in grammar and punctuation that surface throughout the text, such as misplaced modifiers and awkward prepositional phrases like 'in the start the numbers of shop closures slightly decreased'. While these errors rarely impede overall communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the response from achieving a higher band. To progress, the student needs to demonstrate a greater variety of error-free complex structures and pay closer attention to word order, preposition use, and punctuation within complex sentences.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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