Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The Chart shows about shops opened and closed in one country between 2011 - 2018.The chart was line chart.The chart shows the how many shops was closed and new shops opened.
In this chart, 8500 shops was opened and 6400 shops was closed in 2011. 5200 number of shops was closed and 3000 number of shops was new opened in 2018. It means new shops opened and closed was decreased from 2011 to 2018. The highest number of new shops opened was 7200 in 2013 and the lowest number of new shops opened was 900 in 2015.The highest number of shops that closed was 8500 in 2011 and the lowest number of shops that closed was 3000 in 2018.The 6500 number of new shops was opened in 2014 and after that in 2015, 900 shops was opened that means people are not opened shops.In 2016, 5200 number shops was opened.In 2015 to 2017 the number of shops that closed was stable.
In conclusion , the chart shows people are not opened new shops and that means people not try the businesses in shopes.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response makes an attempt to discuss the chart regarding shop openings and closures, but it falls short in several key areas. The content includes numerous inaccurate data points that do not match the visual evidence, such as stating that 8500 shops opened and 6400 closed in 2011, and confusing the highest and lowest figures throughout the description. Additionally, the overview is extremely limited and relies on simplistic personal interpretations like 'people are not opened shops' rather than summarising the main global trends. To move to a higher band, the writer must ensure that data is read accurately from the visual prompt and provide a clear overview of the overall trends without introducing unsupported assumptions.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The text shows some basic organisation with a brief introduction and conclusion, but the information and ideas are not arranged in a clearly progressive manner. Paragraphing is weak and arbitrary, with sentences grouped together rather than separated by distinct logical topics. Cohesive devices are minimal and repetitive, often relying on simple chronological sequencing or disjointed statements like 'It means' or 'In conclusion', which makes the overall flow mechanical and difficult to follow. To improve, the writer needs to group related data logically, use effective paragraph breaks for separate trends, and employ a wider and more accurate range of cohesive links to connect sentences smoothly.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, heavily relying on the exact terms provided in the prompt, such as 'shops opened', 'shops closed', 'highest number', and 'lowest number'. There are notable word choice and word formation errors throughout the text, including phrases like 'new opened' and 'people are not opened shops', which detract from the clarity of the message. To achieve a higher band, the writer must demonstrate a broader range of vocabulary by using synonyms and less common lexical items related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'declined', or 'substantially', while paying careful attention to correct word forms and collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, consisting almost entirely of simple sentences with frequent structural errors. There are persistent mistakes in verb forms, tense consistency, and subject-verb agreement, such as 'shops was closed', 'shops was opened', and 'people not try the businesses'. Punctuation and articles are also handled poorly throughout the text. To reach the next level, the writer needs to incorporate a mix of complex sentence forms with accurate subordination and maintain better control over basic grammatical rules, particularly verb agreements and past tense formations when describing historical data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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