Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of shops closed and new shop opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.Overall, i see number of shop closed decreased dramatically,whereas opening new shop show upward trend.Lets start with closed shop , first the trend fell from 8.5k to 4k which is nearly half meanwhile, opening new shop also decrease little bit .Main difference can we seen from when opening shop take dip from somewhere from 6000 to less than 1000 but the opening closed shops only fall for 2000.It recovers really fast take a rose from 800 to nearyl 5200 and remain above till the end.closed shop only take a dip after that it also remain stable but in the end it take a small dip.I can say that teand of closed shops does not fall as the trend of new shops take a dip.By the end it just take a little small dip but the new shops rise little
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response attempts to address the task, but the interpretation of the data is severely confused and inaccurate. The writer struggles to read the graph correctly, confusing shop closures with openings and misinterpreting the values (for instance, reading the 2015 closure figure as a dip to 600 or less than 1000, when the actual figure was 600 for closures and various other fluctuations occurred). There is no proper overview provided, and the data is presented in a fragmented, highly generalised way that does not accurately report the main features or make clear, relevant comparisons. Ideas are extremely limited and under-developed, resulting in a minimal and unclear response that fails to present a coherent picture of the visual data.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response lacks a clear logical organisation and overall progression. Information and ideas are not arranged cohesively, and the paragraphing is poor, with the entire text crammed into a single block or disjointed sentences (e.g., starting abruptly with 'Overall, i see...'). Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, with repetitive and mechanical links such as 'then', 'after that', and 'by the end'. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it very difficult for the reader to follow which trend or year the writer is referring to as the text jumps confusingly between closures and openings.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and limited to simple terms like 'closed', 'opened', 'trend', 'fall', and 'dip'. There are noticeable lexical errors and inappropriate word choices throughout the text, such as 'opening new shop show upward trend', 'closed shop only take a dip', and the coinage 'teand' instead of trend. While the meaning can sometimes be guessed from context, the frequent errors and restricted range of vocabulary cause significant difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher level of lexical precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very limited, relying primarily on simple sentences with frequent structural failures when attempting complex forms. There are numerous basic grammatical errors, including poor punctuation and capitalization (e.g., lowercase 'i', missing punctuation before conjunctions), incorrect verb forms and tenses (e.g., 'number of shops closed and new shop opened', 'opening new shop also decrease little bit'), and missing articles. Frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and prepositional use are present throughout the text, causing distraction and occasionally distorting the intended meaning.
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