Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph gives information about the newly opened shops and shops closed in a country between 2011 and 2018. The data is in the form of graph.
By having a cursoury glance, it is clear that the number of shops which are closed is nearly 8500. Which is really a big number. But in next year, there is a fall in this number. In year 2012 the number reduced to 4000. moreover, in year 2012 to 2014 this number increased constantly from 4000 to 6100. Then the shop closer rate decreased to 4000 again in year 2015. Then then the number remain constant until 2016. Furthermore then there is a little rise of 200 in 2017 and in the last year 2018 this number fall to 3000.
On the other hand, if we talk about the number of newly opened shops then there are not much fluctuation from year 2011 to 2014.
the number is between 6000 to 7500. But in year 2015 this number droped to 500. which is a huge decrease. Then in year 2016 these number of new shops opening rise to 5500 and remain constant until 2018.
In conclusion, there are not much rise and fall if we talk about the opening of new shops except the year 2015 because there is the only big fall in the number of new shops opening.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response presents a very confused and inaccurate reading of the graph. The student significantly misinterprets the data, mixing up the trend lines for shop closures and openings, and misreading the numerical values entirely. For instance, the text states that closures reached nearly 8,500 in the first sentence of the body, which actually corresponds to the opening figure, and claims that openings dropped to 500 in 2015 when the graph shows a closure figure of around 600. Furthermore, the overview provided in the conclusion is inaccurate because it claims there are no major fluctuations in openings aside from 2015, whereas the data shows dramatic and frequent shifts throughout the period. As a result, the task is only partially addressed, with key features inaccurately reported and comparisons poorly handled.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
There is an attempt to organise the response into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs for the trends, and a concluding sentence. However, the overall progression is hampered by the confusion in the data and mechanical or repetitive use of cohesive devices, such as starting multiple sentences with 'Then' or 'Furthermore'. Referencing between sentences is sometimes unclear due to the inaccurate data descriptions. While the text attempts to guide the reader through the graph, the faulty interpretation of the visual information disrupts the logical flow and coherence of the summary.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with frequent reliance on basic terms like 'number', 'rise', and 'fall'. There are noticeable word choice and spelling errors, such as 'cursoury' instead of 'cursory' and 'droped' instead of 'dropped'. The student also struggles to select appropriate terminology for describing data trends accurately, often using imprecise phrasing. These lexical inadequacies and spelling mistakes cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a restricted range of vocabulary suitable for academic reporting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response relies on a very limited range of sentence structures, mostly consisting of simple sentences or faulty attempts at complex ones. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the number remain constant', 'these number of new shops opening rise'), missing articles ('in next year'), and awkward phrasing ('By having a cursoury glance'). Punctuation is also problematic, notably with sentence fragments such as 'Which is really a big number.' These frequent errors cause strain and difficulty for the reader in following the intended meaning.
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