Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrate the number of shops that closed and the numbers of shops that was opened in a county between 2011 and 2018.

Overall,the numbers of shops closed at that was declined as before and new shops have just starting rising towards it. The numbers of shops are count in thousands. Both goes on slightly downwards at the middle of the years.

At first, In 2011 the numbers of shops newly open were about 6100 but according to years past its goes fall an reach 6000 in 2012. In 2013 new openings shops again kept rise and reach at 7050 after that it again goes downward 6300 in 2014. Its goes falling and reach upto nearly 500 only in 2015. After the year past it climb little bit and reach at 5100 in 2016. In 2017 its accept constant numbers as 2016 and it goes as constant in 2018 too.

At last, In 2011 the numbers of closures shops nearly 8500 but after a year its reach at 4000 only in 2012. As years goes on the closure goes increase and inclined upward and reach 5000,6100 in 2013,2014 respectively. numbers of close shops increase and goes falling and reach its lowest at 2018.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the task by summarizing data from the graph, but it does so only minimally. While the writer attempts an overview and mentions some figures, the data reported is largely inaccurate and confused. For instance, the figures and trends for shop closures and openings are frequently mixed up, and specific numbers such as '6100' or '500' in 2015 do not accurately reflect the visual data provided in the prompt. Furthermore, the selection of main features is disjointed, and the overall summary is unclear and confusing. To move to a higher band, the writer must carefully read the graph's axes and data points to ensure that the reported figures and overall trends are factually correct, and provide a clear overview of the main developments without mixing up the two data series.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic organization in the response, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding section, but the overall progression is difficult to follow. Cohesive devices are used minimally and often inaccurately, such as 'At first', 'After the year past', and 'At last', which do not function well to sequence the information logically. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal logical flow of sentences is frequently disrupted by confused referencing and abrupt transitions between ideas. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to ensure a clear logical sequence throughout the text, using appropriate and varied cohesive devices to link ideas smoothly, and organizing paragraphs around distinct and coherent themes related to the chart.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple terms like 'numbers', 'shops', 'closed', 'opened', 'rise', and 'fall'. There are noticeable lexical errors, such as 'closures shops', 'openings shops', and awkward word choices like 'accept constant numbers' instead of 'remained constant', which reflect a limited range and strain the reader's understanding. Attempts at less common vocabulary are unsuccessful due to word choice and collocation errors. To improve, the writer should expand their lexical repertoire to include more precise descriptive vocabulary for trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'decline', 'peak', or 'plateau', and pay closer attention to word forms and natural collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writing demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting mostly of simple sentences and faulty attempts at complex forms. Frequent errors are present throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The graph illustrate', 'numbers of shops... was opened'), incorrect verb tenses ('its goes fall an reach'), missing articles, and awkward prepositions. These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader and sometimes distort the intended meaning. To progress, the writer needs to improve basic sentence construction, ensure correct subject-verb agreement, and practice accurate verb tense usage when describing past statistical data.

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