Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrastes the number of new opened shops and closed shops in a nation from 2011 to 2018.
Overall, both categories experienced a downfall trend, where the opening shops declined steady with drastic changes and the number of closed shops decreased with highly fluctuations.
Moving into more detail, shop closures accounted for 6400 in 2011, then declined minimally in 2012. After this, the number of closed shops increased gradually to 7100 in 2013, which was decreased by 500 in 2014 and then experienced a peak downfall from 6600 to 600 in 2015, it was inclined to 5100 in 2016, which was around remain same in 2017 after a silght decline in 2016.
Moreover, new shop openings started at their highest point of 8500 in 2011. Afterwards, it plunged by more than half to 4000 in 2012 before recovering slightly to just above 6000 in 2014. Furthermore, new opening shops fell back to 4000 in 2015, it remained stable until 2017, before dropping to a final low of 3000 in 2018.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response covers most parts of the task by presenting key features and making some comparisons between shop openings and closures. However, the development of ideas is limited and some data points are inaccurate. For instance, the reference to shop closures dropping to 600 in 2015 misinterprets the graph where closures actually dropped significantly to around that figure, but the surrounding trends and overall overview contain generalisations that lack clear extension. The overview attempts to describe the main trends, but refers to a downfall trend for both categories when closures fluctuated considerably rather than following a steady decline. To reach a higher level, the overview needs to be more accurate and data points should be selected and reported with greater precision and full development.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression divided into introduction, overview, and separate body paragraphs for closures and openings. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main data series. However, cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or faulty, such as the abrupt transitions and slightly awkward linking phrases between sentences like 'After this, the number of closed shops...' and 'Moreover, new shop openings started...'. Referencing and logical connections between sentences occasionally feel strained. To move to a higher level, the cohesion needs to be managed more naturally and smoothly without relying on repetitive transitional formulas.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate to communicate the general information, but the range is limited and contains noticeable errors in word choice, form, and spelling. Examples include 'illustrastes' (spelling), 'opening shops' instead of shop openings, 'downfall trend' instead of downward trend, and awkward phrasing like 'around remain same' and 'silght decline'. While the student attempts less common vocabulary such as 'plunged' and 'stabilised', inaccurate word formation and collocation persist and occasionally cause slight confusion for the reader. To achieve a higher score, a wider and more precise range of vocabulary must be used with accurate word formation and natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response employs a limited range of sentence structures, mixing simple forms with attempts at complex sentences. However, these complex structures are frequently faulty, leading to frequent grammatical errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. Examples include run-on sentences and comma splices such as '...peak downfall from 6600 to 600 in 2015, it was inclined to 5100 in 2016...' and '...fell back to 4000 in 2015, it remained stable...'. There are also issues with verb forms, voice, and agreement. To progress, the writer needs to demonstrate a greater variety of error-free complex structures and improve control over punctuation and clause joining.
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