Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph below illustrate the total number sof shops that are closed and the number of new shops that are opened in new country between 2011 and 2018.
Overall, the number of new shops are showing the downward trend in overall the time period while the numbers of closed shops have visibly showed the fluctuations eventually reached at lowest point.
In 2011,approximtlely 65000 new shops opened, although in 2103 it faced some gradual decreased at 7000. However, in 2015 shops rates started dramatically decreased at total numer of 500 while started rose again in 2015 and eventually reached aproxomately at 5000.
Turning back to the remaining trend, in 2011 closed shops started from 9000 after experiecing a significant downward trend at 4000, However a sharp increase at 6000 and recorded small fluctuations in all over the time period till 2018.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, containing only 132 words (with 8 words copied directly from the prompt discounted). Furthermore, the content fails to accurately reflect the data presented in the graph. The student confuses the two data series, misinterpreting closures and openings, and reports severely inaccurate figures that do not match the visual data, such as claiming 65000 openings in 2011 or a sudden drop to 500. This results in a response that addresses the task only partially and relies heavily on distorted data. To improve, you must carefully read the axis labels and data lines in the chart, report figures that correspond closely to the visual evidence, and ensure you write at least the minimum required word count.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response attempts a basic structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, showing some logical arrangement. However, there is no clear overall progression due to the confusion in data reporting. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes repetitive or inaccurate, such as 'Turning back to the remaining trend'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal cohesion within sentences is frequently strained by abrupt transitions and unclear referencing. To reach a higher band, you should ensure that ideas follow a logical sequence, use a wider range of cohesive devices smoothly without mechanical repetition, and structure your paragraphs so that each focuses on a distinct, clearly stated feature of the graph.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. There are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word form throughout the response, such as 'approximtlely', 'decreased' instead of 'decrease', 'numer', and 'aproxomately'. While the student attempts some vocabulary related to trends, such as 'downward trend', 'gradual', and 'fluctuations', the frequent inaccuracies and heavily distorted data impede clear communication. To improve this criterion, you should expand your range of vocabulary for describing trends and data changes, pay close attention to spelling and word forms, and ensure you select terms precisely to match the visual information.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple or faulty complex sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as 'The graph below illustrate', 'number sof shops that are closed', 'the number of new shops are showing', and 'reached at lowest point'. Punctuation is also weak, with comma splices and missing periods. These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader. To improve, you need to practice forming accurate simple and complex sentences, ensure correct subject-verb agreement, pay attention to verb tenses when describing past data, and review the correct use of prepositions with data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.