Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph illustrates the number of closed and opened shops from 2011 to 2018 in one country.Overall,the number of opened shop was increased and the number of closed shops was decreased.
From the graph , In 2011 , about 8500 new shops were opened as well as the closed shops rate was low which was about 6500.As in 2012, the newly open was decreased after one year which was about 39000 and the closed shops has little down which round about 6000.Moreover, in the next year the opened shops was increased by 1000 but the closed shops rise up to 1200.While in 2014, there was almost same in both rate of shopes which was differed by 200. But after, the 2014 the number of closed shopes was lowest which near about 500 and there was some differences in newly open which was about 4000 and also maintain this in 2017 but in 2
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response attempts to address the prompt by describing the overall trends and some specific data points from the line graph, but it fails to provide an accurate representation of the information. The overview statement is factually incorrect regarding the actual trends shown in the graph. Furthermore, numerous data points are misread or distorted, such as claiming 39,000 openings in 2012 and closures dropping to 500 in 2015 when the graph shows vastly different figures. The details provided are limited and poorly selected, and the response cuts off abruptly mid-sentence at the end. To improve, the student must carefully verify data against the visual prompt and ensure the overall summary reflects the true nature of the trends.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The text exhibits basic organizational structure with an introductory sentence and some sequencing of years, but the logical progression is frequently disrupted. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inappropriate, as seen with transitional phrases like 'As in 2012' and 'While in 2014' which do not accurately signal the logical relationship between data points. Paragraphing is rudimentary, with the body of the response clumped together awkwardly and failing to structure the comparisons effectively. Referencing and pronoun use are unclear in places. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to group related data logically, use cohesive devices more naturally and precisely, and ensure a clear, seamless flow of information from the introduction through the body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, heavily relying on simple terms such as 'opened', 'closed', 'shops', and 'number'. There are noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations throughout the text, including phrases like 'closed shops rate', 'newly open', and 'closed shops has little down'. Word form errors also occur, such as 'shopes'. These errors occasionally cause strain and confusion for the reader. To improve, the writer should build a wider range of vocabulary suitable for describing statistical data, incorporating precise nouns and verbs, and paying closer attention to standard collocations and word forms when discussing trends and figures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical structures attempted are very limited, and the text contains frequent errors that impede clarity. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and passive/active voice, such as 'the number of opened shop was increased' and 'the closed shops rise up'. Article usage is also problematic, and punctuation is weak, culminating in an incomplete sentence structure that abruptly terminates the response. To lift this criterion to the next level, the student needs to demonstrate better control over simple sentence forms while attempting accurate complex structures, ensuring correct verb tense usage, proper prepositions within grammatical patterns, and complete sentence formation.
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