Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The illustration depicts the number of shops that closed and the number of newly inaugrated shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Overall, it is clearly seen that, number of the new shops opened were highest in 2011 and shows an almost declined number until 2018 and starting from a lower ground in comparision of opened shops the closed shops show a bar on higher ground in 2018.

Scrutinizing deeper in to the obtainable information, starting fom the shops opened, they were at 8,500 and rock bottomed in 2012 at just below 4,000. Then, in 2014 consequently the opened shops have revived from the declinatio and again started to decline from 2015 until the year 2018. Overall, the new shops that opened showed a fluctuated graph wit a massive decline from 8,500 to 3,000.

Digging deeper into the the line graph, ending with the closed shops, the closed shops , although, dominated the year from 2016 but closed shops started from approximately 6,200 it was fluctuated from year to year and in the first two yaers it shows an increase in number and reached to above 7,000 but in two consequtive years there was a dramativc plummet in the graph an neded up by increasing up to just above 5,000.

Hereby, I conclude my report.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the main parts of the task by attempting to report key data and trends regarding shop openings and closures between 2011 and 2018. However, the selection of data is somewhat mechanical and features noticeable inaccuracies or confusing phrasing when citing figures. For instance, the reference to 2015 for closures misreads the graph, where the true value is approximately 6,000 rather than 600, and descriptions of fluctuations are sometimes muddled. Furthermore, the overview attempts to highlight general trends such as the peak in 2011 and the relative positions in 2018, but it lacks clarity and precision. To achieve a higher band, the writer would need to select and report data more accurately, ensure all key comparisons are explicitly and correctly stated, and present a much clearer overview without confusing mathematical or visual misreadings.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The text is organized into paragraphs, attempting an overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and an unnecessary concluding sign-off. However, the logical progression is hindered by awkward transitions and confusing sentence construction. While cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Then', and 'Digging deeper' are used to connect ideas, they are occasionally repetitive or mechanically applied, failing to create a seamless flow of information. Referencing is also a weakness, with phrases like 'ending with the closed shops' creating ambiguity regarding which data point is being discussed. To improve, the writer must ensure a more natural and logical progression of ideas from sentence to sentence, avoid conversational or meta-commentary at the end of the text, and use cohesive devices more accurately to link data points smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, demonstrating an attempt to incorporate less common items and descriptive verbs such as 'inaugurated', 'revived', 'declination', and 'plummet'. However, there are notable lexical errors and awkward word choices, including spelling mistakes like 'inaugrated', 'comparision', 'consequtive', and 'dramativc'. Other phrases like 'rock bottomed' and 'higher ground' sound informal or unnatural in an academic report. These errors and imprecise word choices occasionally impede communication or distract the reader. To reach the next level, the writer needs to expand their range of vocabulary, improve spelling accuracy, and ensure that all lexical items and collocations are appropriate for formal academic descriptions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing relies on a limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences frequently contain structural errors. There are frequent grammatical mistakes, including tense inconsistencies, awkward prepositional phrases, and faulty subject-verb agreement or article usage, such as 'number of the new shops opened were highest' and 'it was fluctuated from year to year'. Punctuation is also problematic, seen in unnecessary comma splices and erratic spacing. These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader and restrict the score. To progress, the writer must focus on mastering basic grammatical rules, improving sentence variety, avoiding run-on or tangled clauses, and ensuring accurate control over verb forms and tense consistency when reporting historical statistical data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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