Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph was shows the number of shops that closed and new shops opened in one country from 2011 to 2018.This is line chart.Overall, Both shops experienced a downward trend over the period.
In 2011, the 8500 new shops opened and 6400 shops closed than 4000 new shops opened and 6000 shops closed in 2012.The 5000 new shops opened and 7100 shops closed in [redacted phone] new shops opened and 6500 shops closed in 2014. In 2015 , the new shops opened under 4000 and 1000 shops closed.In 2016 ,4000 new shops opened and 5100 shops closed. In 2017, the new opened shops 4100 and closed shops 5000.In 2018, 3000 shops new opened and 5100 shops closed.
After the 2014 the shops closed was very down and after 2015 the shops closed was up by 5000. The highest new shops was opened in 2011 and the lowest new shops was opened in 2018.The highest shops was closed in 2013 and the lowest shops was closed in 2015.
In contrast, shop closures showed a different trajectory. After hovering around 6,000 until 2014, they plummeted dramatically to a low of just under 1,000 in 2015. However, this drop was short-lived; closures spiked back up to 5,000 in 2016. For the final three years, closures remained stable at this level, finishing well above the 3,000 openings recorded in 2018.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making comparisons between shop openings and closures across the 2011 to 2018 period. However, the development is uneven. While the writer attempts to track the data year-by-year, some figures contain notable inaccuracies when compared to the visual data—such as stating that 1,000 shops closed in 2015 when the graph shows a dramatic drop to around 600, and reporting 7,100 closures in 2013 instead of approximately 7,200. Additionally, the paragraph starting with 'After the 2014 the shops closed...' contains confusing and contradictory phrasing that muddies the presentation of key trends. A clearer overview is provided at the beginning, but the supporting details require greater precision and better selection of salient highlights to reach a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response displays a coherent overall arrangement, but the progression and logical flow are frequently disrupted by mechanical structure and abrupt transitions. The opening relies on basic, repetitive framing sentences such as 'This is line chart.' Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal organization of the body paragraphs lacks smooth progression. For instance, the second paragraph lists consecutive years in a rigid, robotic sequence ('In 2011... in 2012... in 2013...') without effectively grouping related trends. Furthermore, the inclusion of a contradictory final paragraph that largely repeats or conflicts with previous data statements highlights referencing and organizational faults. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes inaccurate, making it difficult for the reader to follow a clear logical path throughout the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying basic concepts such as 'downward trend', 'closures', and 'openings'. However, the range is limited and the writer makes noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'new shops opened under 4000' and 'the new opened shops 4100'. There are also awkward lexical phrases like 'the shops closed was very down' and 'shops new opened'. While less common vocabulary is attempted, the execution is often flawed. Spelling and word formation are generally accurate enough that communication is not severely impeded, but the lack of precise lexical control prevents the response from achieving a higher level of sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, though attempts at complex structures are frequently marred by basic structural errors. There are frequent issues with verb forms and tenses, such as 'The graph was shows' and 'the highest new shops was opened'. Article omission and misuse are also common throughout the text, as seen in 'Overall, Both shops' and 'After the 2014 the shops closed'. Punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after periods, further detract from the overall control. While these errors rarely completely impede communication, their persistent frequency across various grammatical categories keeps the writing firmly within this band.
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