Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the graph illustrates the information about count of shops that closed and the opining of shops in a country in a period of two years 2011 as well as 2018.

overall, It can be seen from given diagram one line represents massive decrease . However, the second one decreased gradually.

Moreover, in view of store openings and closings the dotted line is at the highest which is nearly 8,500 soon after shows a drastice decrease of 4,000. Although rise happens up to 6,100 eventually it drops at 3000.

furthermore, the net change in store count from the next line varies as first, Fluctuated from

the starting digit in addition it was around 6,200 in the beginning than a sharp drop occured at almost 500 also a immediate elevate touches 5,100 then it is constant untill 5,200.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify both series and include some relevant figures, such as openings peaking at about 8,500 and ending at 3,000, and closures falling sharply in 2015. However, the response only minimally summarises the graph: the overview is vague, and the description of the closure line is difficult to follow. The chart shows closures fluctuating before a dramatic fall to about 600 in 2015, then recovering to around 5,200; openings also fluctuate, with an overall decline. These key patterns are not clearly compared or accurately explained, and the claim that closures began at about 6,200 is imprecise. The response is 136 words, below the required 150. Add a clear overview and develop the main trends with accurate comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response, beginning with an introduction and using phrases such as “overall,” “Moreover,” and “furthermore.” However, the ideas are not arranged in a coherent progression. The overview is followed by a description of openings, then an unclear shift to “the next line,” without clearly naming closures or separating the two series. The final sentence is especially difficult to follow because several changes are joined together without clear relationships. Paragraphing is also limited, and some linking expressions do not clarify how the information connects. Group the opening and closure trends into separate, logically ordered paragraphs, use clear references to each line, and connect comparisons directly to the figures.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “decrease,” “fluctuated,” “sharp drop,” and “eventually,” which helps convey changes in the graph. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning difficult to interpret. For example, “opining of shops” is not the correct expression, “net change in store count” suggests a calculation the graph does not provide, and “immediate elevate” is not a natural way to describe a rise. Spelling errors such as “drastice” and “untill” also reduce accuracy. Use precise chart language consistently, such as “shop openings,” “shop closures,” “rose,” “fell sharply,” and “recovered,” and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentence forms, including “Although rise happens up to 6,100 eventually it drops at 3000,” but control is weak and the relationships between clauses are often unclear. Errors occur frequently in sentence structure, articles, verb forms, and punctuation. For instance, “in a period of two years 2011 as well as 2018” does not form a clear grammatical time expression, while “a immediate elevate touches 5,100” has problems with article use and sentence construction. Capitalisation is also inconsistent, as in “overall, It” and “furthermore.” These errors can distort the intended meaning. Practise writing short, complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then combine them using accurate clauses and punctuation.

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