Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrates the data about shops that's shut down and newely opened shops in one country from 2011 to 2018.

Overall, around 8,600 shops were close down in 2011 while 6,300 stores were opened in this year. The number of shops was fluctuated over the period in both terms.

In 2011, almost 8,600 shops were shut down but after that, its decreased massively and reached at 4,000 shops next year. In 2013 and 2014, it increased steadily and reached at around 6,100 shops. Subsequently, its number of closed shops was declined rapidly in 2015. Moreover, in next two years its showed almost stagnant figures approximately at 4,100 before reaching out at 3,000 in the final year.

The number of newely opened shops went up and down from 2011 to 2015 at 6,200 and 6,300 shops respectively. However, in next year its value dropped dramatically at just 500 before climbing up at 5,200 shops in 2016. Between 2016 and 2018, the number of new opened shops remained almost identical at 5,200 shops.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response attempts to describe both series and includes an overview, but the main features and figures are repeatedly misreported, so the account does not reliably summarise the graph. For example, closures were about 6,400 in 2011, not 8,600, and openings were about 8,500, not 6,300. The sharp fall in closures occurred in 2015, to roughly 600, rather than the stated 4,000; the later figures and trends are also assigned to the wrong series. The overview that both measures fluctuated is too general to compensate for these inaccuracies. To improve, check each line against the graph, distinguish closures from openings throughout, and highlight the major contrast: openings began higher, while closures plunged in 2015.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a brief overview, and separate paragraphs for the two series. Time markers such as “In 2011,” “Subsequently,” and “Between 2016 and 2018” help the reader follow the intended sequence. However, the progression is weakened by unclear referencing, especially repeated uses of “its” and “its number,” which make it difficult to identify which series is being discussed. “Moreover” also does not clearly express the relationship between the adjacent points. Organise each paragraph around one correctly identified line, and use explicit references such as “the number of closures” or “shop openings” rather than pronouns. This would make the existing paragraph structure more coherent and the comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

There is enough vocabulary to communicate the general topic, including “fluctuated,” “declined rapidly,” “stagnant,” and “dramatically.” However, word choice, collocation, and spelling are often inaccurate, which makes some descriptions confusing. Examples include “shops that's shut down,” “newely opened,” “close down,” and “reaching out at 3,000”; these are not natural or accurate forms for describing a graph. “Went up and down” is understandable but informal and imprecise in this context. Use standard terms consistently, such as “shop closures,” “shops opened,” “fell sharply,” and “stood at.” Check spelling and choose verbs that accurately describe whether a figure rose, fell, or remained stable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response uses both simple statements and some longer sentences with time clauses, for example, “In 2013 and 2014, it increased steadily…” and “Between 2016 and 2018…”. However, grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction sometimes make relationships unclear. Examples include “The number of shops was fluctuated,” where the verb should not be passive, and “after that, its decreased,” where the pronoun and verb form are incorrect. The sentence beginning “The number of newely opened shops went up and down…” also combines a trend with figures in a confusing structure. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build comparisons with clear subjects and verbs, while retaining some varied sentence patterns.

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