Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line chart illustrates information about the number of shops that closed and the number shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Overall, it is evident that there were a significant difference among all the given categories.The closed shops recorded the highest figure, whereas the newly opened shops remained the lowest throughout the given time.

According to graph, In 2011 the closed shops stood at 6,400 and experienced fluctuating trend before reaching to 5,000 in 2018. While the opened shops recorded the highest figure in the biginning and experienced a decline from droping from 8,600 to 4,000 in 2012, and faced fluctuating trend, the figures dropped to 3,000 in 2018.

In contrast, both categories faces massive ups and downs in their given time period. But colosed shops were massively dropped in 2015, becasuse the figures recorded under 1,000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify both series and include several relevant figures, including closures at 6,400 in 2011 and the sharp fall to below 1,000 in 2015. However, the overview is inaccurate: closures did not remain the highest throughout, and openings were not consistently the lowest; openings were highest in 2011, while closures peaked in 2013. The account also omits key comparisons and gives only limited coverage of the later fluctuations. The response is 122 words, below the required 150, so the trends and comparisons are not sufficiently developed. To improve, give a precise overview of the contrasting patterns, then support it with accurate comparisons across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to details, and phrases such as “Overall” and “In contrast” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, progression is limited: the final paragraph repeats the idea of fluctuations rather than adding a clearly organised comparison. The long sentence beginning “While the opened shops…” combines several changes, making the sequence difficult to follow, and “In contrast” does not introduce a clear contrast with the preceding point. Organise the body chronologically or by series, and use linking expressions only where the relationship between the figures is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “fluctuating trend,” “decline,” and “recorded,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited and several choices or forms are inaccurate or repetitive, such as “massive ups and downs,” “the figures dropped,” and “the closed shops.” Spelling errors including “biginning,” “droping,” “colosed,” and “becasuse” are noticeable and reduce the accuracy of the report. Aim for precise, neutral chart language and check spelling carefully. For example, describe a sharp fall or a peak rather than using informal expressions such as “massive ups and downs.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a sentence using “whereas” and another beginning “While,” but control is inconsistent. Errors include “the number shops” (missing article), “there were a significant difference” (agreement), and “both categories faces” (subject–verb agreement). The sentence beginning “While the opened shops…” is also awkwardly joined to the preceding clause, and the final “But” creates a fragment-like transition. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear, although the main topic remains understandable. Use shorter, complete sentences and check articles, agreement, and clause connections before submitting.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.