Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The graph illustrate about the number of shops that when od shops closed and than increese the number of new shops in 2011 and 2018.

When a shops are opened so numbers is very high but in during numbers are high and low. When build a shops so numbers is high like a one shop is opening in 2011 and closing 2018. In the during also numbers is very high but also numbers is very low. In this graph shows that a shop in starting number is high and than number is low before number is six thousand above and than number is very low and last number is very low.

But build a new shop. This shop number is starting is very high but after number is very low in case starting numbers.Starting number eight thousand above but after soe duration number is very low.

In conclusion, when a shop is opening so number is very high but when closing so number is very low.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response recognises that the graph compares shop openings and closures over time, and it attempts to describe changes, including a high starting figure for openings and a sharp fall in closures. However, most details are too vague to identify the actual trends: phrases such as “numbers are very high” and “number is very low” do not specify which series or years are meant. The claim that openings were very high while closures were very low is not a reliable overview of the chart; openings begin at about 8,500, but closures also remain high in most years, apart from the dramatic drop in 2015. To improve, give a clear overview of the main contrasts and support it with accurate year-and-value comparisons, especially the 2015 closure low and the overall decline in openings.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the repeated references to openings and closures show some awareness of the two data series. However, the ideas do not progress clearly: the body repeats general statements such as “numbers are very high” and “number is very low” without establishing which year or series is being discussed. References such as “this shop” and “in the during” are difficult to follow, while “But build a new shop” does not connect logically to the preceding paragraph. Use one paragraph to summarise the overall pattern and separate paragraphs to compare the two series, linking each point to a specific year.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The response uses a small set of relevant words, including “graph,” “number,” “shops,” “opened,” and “closing,” so the topic is recognisable. However, vocabulary is highly repetitive and often too general for describing data: “very high,” “very low,” and “starting number” recur without conveying precise changes. Some word choices and forms are unclear, for example “when od shops closed” and “build a shops,” which make the intended meaning harder to understand. Develop a more varied set of trend terms, such as “rose,” “fell,” “fluctuated,” “peaked,” and “reached a low,” and use “shop openings” and “shop closures” consistently. This would make comparisons more precise and reduce repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response attempts several sentence forms, including a time reference (“in 2011 and 2018”) and a concluding clause beginning “when,” but control of basic sentence structure is inconsistent. For example, “The graph illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, while “When a shops are opened so numbers is very high” contains problems with articles, plurals and agreement. Several clauses are incomplete or awkwardly joined, as in “But build a new shop,” and tense and sentence boundaries are not controlled consistently. These errors often make the relationships between ideas unclear. Practise writing short, complete comparison sentences first, such as “Closures fell sharply in 2015,” then combine them with accurate linking clauses and check agreement and articles.

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