Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The graph below show the number of shops that closed and the number of shops that the open in one country the two year of 2011 to 2018. And selecting the informations by reporting the opint features and make comparisons and the relevant.And the shop open the 2011 and close the shop 2018.

First of all the shop open 2011 the shop decrease about 6500 and than the increase the amount 6000 and decrease to 7200 and some increase 6500 and the most increase 500 and than decrease most of 5100 and about the increase 5000 and than most of 5100.

Secondly the shop closed the year of 2018 about 8500 and the most increase 4000 and than decrease to 5000 and the decrease to 6000 than increase 4000 and same postion 4000 and few increase 4200 and the decrease 3000.

Overall the shop open the year of 2018 and the year of 2018.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response attempts to describe both series and includes several figures, but the trends and values are repeatedly confused. For example, the first paragraph appears to describe openings but gives a sequence that does not match the chart, while the second paragraph labels the 2011 opening figure of about 8,500 as occurring in 2018. The overview, “Overall the shop open the year of 2018 and the year of 2018,” does not identify a meaningful overall pattern or comparison. The response also falls short of the 150-word minimum: 144 words were counted, with prompt wording excluded. To improve, give a clear overview of the main trends, accurately distinguish openings from closures, and select a few key comparisons rather than listing confused figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an opening, two body paragraphs beginning “First of all” and “Secondly,” and a concluding sentence. These markers show some awareness of paragraphing and sequencing. However, the organisation does not help the reader follow the data because the two series are misidentified and the figures are presented as a confusing sequence. Connectors such as “and than” and repeated “the decrease” are used mechanically, and the final overview repeats “the year of 2018” without clarifying the point. Group each series accurately, use clear time references, and link comparisons—for example, explain when openings were higher or lower than closures—to create a coherent progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “shop,” “decrease,” “increase,” and “about,” so the general subject can be recognised. However, vocabulary is basic and highly repetitive, and several choices make the intended meaning difficult to interpret. Phrases such as “the most increase 500” and “same postion” do not express the data clearly; “shop open” and “shop closed” are also used inconsistently for the two series. Spelling errors such as “opint” and “postion” further weaken clarity. Build a more precise range for describing charts, including “rose,” “fell,” “peaked,” “remained stable,” “approximately,” and “shop openings/closures,” and use these terms consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response shows an attempt to form sentences and use time references, but grammatical control is weak and sentence structures are mostly simple or incomplete. The opening, “The graph below show,” has subject–verb disagreement, while “the number of shops that the open” has an incorrect clause structure. Articles and verb forms are also problematic in phrases such as “the shop open 2011” and “the shop decrease.” Several long sequences joined by “and” lack clear sentence boundaries, making relationships between events difficult to follow. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and complete comparative sentences, such as “The number of openings fell from about 8,500 in 2011 to 3,900 in 2012.” Use full stops to separate distinct trends.

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