Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph provide a breif information about the shop opened and close among country in 2011 to 2018.

Overall, 2011 to 2018 a number of shop has been closed there could be various features which may affect this. in 2011 about 85000 shops has been opened and about 3500 hundered shops has been shut down. later the in the 2012 this number declined to 4000. In 2013 and 2014 it raised by 10 to 5% later on it start decreasing with passing of every year. The porportion of shop 's opening significantly dropped in 2015 to 2018

The closer of shops was less in 2011 and 2012 However it suddenly esclate in 2013 by 10%. In 2015 it faces a major dropped in closing shops almost it ratio has been zero. In 2016 it sudenly climbed up zero to 5000 shops has been closed. The percentage has been remain same from last 3 years.

To sum up the opening and closing of shops is the vareid according to different situations. The porportion has been flactuated among 2011 to 2018 .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify both shop openings and closures and mention several relevant movements, including the sharp fall in closures in 2015 and their recovery in 2016. However, the overview is unclear and does not accurately summarise the main pattern. Several figures are substantially misreported: openings in 2011 were about 8,500, not 85,000, while closures were about 6,400, not 3,500; closures in 2015 fell to roughly 600 rather than zero. The claim that openings rose in 2013 and 2014 also conflicts with the graph, as they rise to about 5,000 and 6,200 respectively, but the description is vague. Focus on accurate key comparisons and give a clear overview of the contrasting fluctuations and overall decline in openings.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has separate paragraphs and attempts to move from openings to closures, so there is some basic organisation. However, progression is difficult to follow because the first body paragraph combines an overview with a sequence of figures, and the final paragraph repeats the general idea that the numbers fluctuated without adding a clear summary. Linking expressions such as “later,” “However,” and “To sum up” are used, but relationships between ideas are sometimes unclear; for example, “In 2013 and 2014 it raised by 10 to 5%” does not make the comparison understandable. Organise the report into a concise overview followed by one paragraph for each series, and connect each year’s change explicitly to the previous figure.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant graph vocabulary, including “declined,” “dropped,” “climbed,” and “fluctuated,” which helps communicate changes in the data. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate, sometimes making the intended meaning difficult to interpret. Examples include “the shop opened and close,” “the closer of shops,” and “the proportion of shop’s opening”; these do not express openings and closures naturally. There are also noticeable spelling errors such as “breif,” “esclate,” “sudenly,” and “flactuated.” Use precise terms such as “number of shops,” “shop openings,” and “shop closures,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes obscure the relationships between figures. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent in “The line graph provide” and “a number of shop has been closed.” Tense and sentence construction are also problematic in phrases such as “later the in the 2012 this number declined” and “The percentage has been remain same.” Articles, plurals, and punctuation need more reliable control, as seen in “about 3500 hundered shops has been shut down” and the run-on transition after “features which may affect this.” Build shorter, complete sentences first, then practise accurate past-tense reporting and agreement before adding more complex structures.

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