Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The two lines graph illustrates the number of market closures and opening from 2011 and 2018.

Overall, the shop closed in first year declined and then slowly increasing and last year then decreased.Therefore, the new shops open in first year normal and between year sharpely decreased.And then last year new shops significantly boost.

First of all, the shop closed 8500 in 2011.And then shop closed 4000 in 2012.So, in 2013 the market closed 6000.And then shop closed remain stable in 3 year.So, the last year shop closed 3000 in 2018.

Second of all, the new shops open 6500 in 2011.And then new shops open 5900 in 2012.So, in 2013 new market opens 5000.Therefore,new shops opens 900 in 2015.However, new market opens stabalize in last three years.

To sum up, shop closed in first year declined and then increasing.So,this figure in last year declined.However, new new shops opens in first year slowly drops and then increased.So, in last three year new shops open remain stable.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response attempts to describe both series and includes an overview, but the main features and figures are frequently misreported, so the account only partially represents the graph. For example, 8,500 in 2011 refers to openings, not closures; closures were about 6,400. The claim that closures remained stable for three years is inaccurate, especially because they fell sharply to about 600 in 2015 before rising again. Openings were about 8,500 in 2011, not 6,500, and the figure of 900 in 2015 is also incorrect. The overview does not identify the striking 2015 low in closures or the general fall in openings. Improve by checking each series against the graph and selecting its clearest peaks, troughs and overall trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, two detail paragraphs and a concluding summary. This gives the reader some organisation, and phrases such as “First of all” and “Second of all” signal a change of focus. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear, and the repeated “And then” and “So” make the account mechanical. The overview and conclusion largely repeat one another rather than adding a clear synthesis, while some references, such as “this figure,” are vague. Grouping the data by meaningful trends—for example, the sharp 2015 fall in closures and the overall decline in openings—and using more precise links would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary is sufficient to identify the two categories and describe basic movement, using terms such as “declined,” “increasing,” “decreased” and “remain stable.” However, the range is limited and several choices or forms are inaccurate, sometimes making the intended trend difficult to understand. “The shop closed” is used where the data concern the number of shop closures, and “new shops open” is repeated instead of using a consistent noun phrase such as “shop openings.” Expressions including “normal,” “sharpely decreased,” “significantly boost” and “stabalize” are unsuitable or incorrectly formed in this context. Aim for precise chart language and check spelling and collocations; this will help distinguish a rise, fall, fluctuation and stable period accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response mainly uses short, simple statements and attempts some linking with “and then,” “so” and “however.” This provides a basic sentence framework, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. Examples include “The two lines graph illustrates,” “the shop closed in first year declined,” and “new shops open in first year normal,” where articles, agreement and sentence structure are not controlled. Tense and verb forms are also inconsistent, as in “new shops opens” and “shop closed remain stable.” Punctuation is often missing after sentence openings and before the next sentence. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and complete comparative sentences, such as “Closures fell to about 600 in 2015, before recovering the following year.”

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