Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The line graphs illustrates the number of shops that opened and closed in one country between 2011 and 2018..

in this graph shows that in 2011 to 2013 the shops are close compare to open the numbers of shop and 2014 to 2015 the shops are close but as compare to opens number of shops are to much low and then 2015 to 2018 same the numbers of shop are close as compared to open numbers of shop are bigger numbers of shop .

in 2011 shops are closed but greater numbers of shop are opened as shown in the graph . in 2012 to 2013 the closed shops increased but and increased the number in opened shops and in 2014 to 2016 the the number of shops are opened to much low but in shops closed are better not many shops closed as compare to previous years in 2018 the opened shops range are as compared to close the shops are opened

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the topic and attempts to compare openings with closures across the period, but it does not provide a clear, accurate overview of the main trends. Several comparisons are incorrect or too vague: for example, it says closures were lower than openings from 2014 to 2015, although closures were higher in 2014 and fell sharply to about 600 in 2015. It also says openings were greater than closures from 2015 to 2018, which is not true for 2016–2018. The sharp 2015 fall in closures and the overall decline in openings are important features that should be stated clearly. Most figures and changes are not reported precisely, so the task is addressed only in a limited way.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is an attempt to organise the response chronologically, moving from 2011–2013 to later years, and phrases such as “in 2011” and “in 2012 to 2013” signal time. However, the response is presented as one long, difficult-to-follow sequence rather than a clear introduction, overview and grouped details. Connections between ideas are often unclear, especially in “the shops are close but as compare to opens number of shops are to much low.” Repeated use of “and,” “but,” and “as compared to” does not establish reliable relationships between the data. Separate paragraphs and a clearer progression—overview first, then selected comparisons—would make the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “opened,” “closed,” “increased,” “numbers,” and “range,” so the reader can generally recognise the subject. However, vocabulary is repetitive and often imprecise: “shops are close” is used where “shops closed” is intended, and “better” does not clearly describe a numerical trend. Phrases such as “to much low” and “bigger numbers of shop” show limited control of collocation and word forms. More accurate chart language—such as “the number of closures,” “fell sharply,” “remained stable,” and “exceeded”—would help express comparisons and changes precisely. The current range is basic, and these word-choice problems sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to interpret.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts longer sentences and time clauses, but sentence structures are frequently inaccurate, and there is little evidence of controlled variety. Subject–verb agreement is faulty in “The line graphs illustrates,” while “in this graph shows” lacks a clear grammatical subject. Tense and verb forms are also inconsistent, as in “the shops are close” and “the closed shops increased but and increased the number.” Articles, plurals and sentence boundaries are often mishandled; the opening sentence ends with two full stops, and several later clauses run together. These errors make comparisons hard to follow. Build accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses such as “while” or “whereas.”

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