Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrate the umber of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Overall, the graph smoothly highlights that the number of shops that closed has experienced a great downfall at the beginning year then it slightly increased and later it became stable. Whereas, the number of new shops that opened has accomplished a high count of rise in begining years then it suddenly reduced to the bottom of graph. After a heavy downfall it slightly increased and became stable.

In the begining years the number of shops that closed was around 8500. In the mid year mid year of [redacted phone] it peaked at 6000. After the mid year of [redacted phone] it slightly decreased and became cconstant. Whereas, the number of new shops that opened quickly touched its peak in begining years of [redacted phone] which was around 6500. Then in mid year it experienced a sudden downfall which was below 1000. After the sudden downfall it slightly increased.

The graph clearly illustrate that the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018 ishigher than the of new shops that closed in one country between 2011 and 2018.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies both series and attempts an overview, but the main features are not reported accurately enough. It says closures began at about 8,500, although that is the openings figure; closures were about 6,400 in 2011. It also places the closures’ low point at the beginning, whereas the sharp fall to roughly 600 occurred in 2015. The claim that openings reached about 6,500 is also inaccurate: they peaked at around 8,500 in 2011. The final comparison that openings were higher than closures is not true across the period. To improve, select the major movements and compare the two series using correctly matched figures and years.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs, and linking words such as “Overall” and “Whereas” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the descriptions are vague and sometimes contradict one another. Phrases such as “in the mid year” and “after the mid year” do not identify particular years, and “mid year mid year” is repeated. The overview also describes both series as becoming stable without clearly distinguishing their patterns. Organise the details chronologically or by series, and use specific year references so that comparisons and changes are easy to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant trend vocabulary, including “peaked,” “sudden downfall,” “slightly increased” and “stable,” so the reader can recognise the intended topic. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “accomplished a high count of rise,” “bottom of graph” and “heavy downfall.” Repetition of “beginning years” and “mid year” also makes the account imprecise. Spelling errors, including “umber,” “begining” and “cconstant,” further reduce control. Aim for concise, conventional chart language and vary it only where the meaning remains precise; for example, describe a figure as rising, falling sharply, reaching a low point or remaining relatively steady.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentences, including contrast structures with “Whereas” and clauses describing changes over time. However, grammatical errors occur frequently and sometimes make relationships unclear. The opening sentence has subject–verb disagreement (“graph illustrate”), and the overview contains faulty verb forms and constructions, such as “has accomplished a high count of rise” and “has experienced a great downfall.” The final sentence is also incomplete in its comparison (“higher than the of new shops that closed”). Articles, sentence boundaries and punctuation need more consistent control. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then build comparisons such as “Openings were higher than closures in 2011, but lower in most later years.”

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