Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given line graph illustrates the quantity of shops that shut down and also the number of outlets that newly build-up in one country between the year 2011 and 2018.

Overall, the higher fluctation can be noticed in 2018 in the segment of brand new opened shops. while the amount is recorded nearly same in the end of the year.

Initially, in 2011 the number of shops closed was nearly about 8500, which fall straight to 4000, after one year. While in 2013 the number rises again to 6000, but again decreases to its previour amount. Whereas, this amount remain same for next three years and in the last year which was given in the data the value drop to 3000, at that time.

Furthermore, the perportion of opened shops in the first year was nearly at 6300, Even in the next year the value drop to 6000. As in the movieng year, the amount rise again to 7000, and in next year it get droped, also in 2015 the value sharply droped and stop at 500. but n the ast

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response attempts to describe both series and includes an overview, but the main features are not reported accurately enough to fulfil the task reliably. The figures for closures and openings are repeatedly reversed: for example, 2011 closures were about 6,400, not 8,500, while openings were about 8,500, not 6,300. The account also says closures stayed unchanged for three years, although they fell sharply to about 600 in 2015 before recovering, and the overview’s claim about the greatest fluctuation in 2018 is not supported. The final sentence is unfinished, leaving the later opening figures unreported. To improve, identify each line correctly, select the major peaks and falls, and summarise the overall patterns accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic organisation: an introduction is followed by an overview and separate paragraphs discussing the two series. Sequencing words such as “Initially,” “after one year,” and “Furthermore” help signal movement through the years. However, progression is difficult to follow because the series are misidentified and the comparisons are not consistently clear. Several transitions, including “While” and “Whereas,” introduce fragments or loosely connected statements, and the final paragraph breaks off at “but n the ast,” leaving the account incomplete. The overview also does not provide a dependable guide to the details. Use one paragraph per series or compare both consistently by year, and ensure each sentence connects clearly to the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “rises,” “decreases,” “sharply,” and “value,” so the reader can recognise the intended topic. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “newly build-up,” “brand new opened shops,” and “the amount” for counts of shops. Spelling errors such as “fluctation,” “previour,” “perportion,” and “droped” also make the writing less clear. Choose standard graph language and use it consistently: for example, “shops opened,” “number,” “rose,” and “fell.” More precise vocabulary would help distinguish openings from closures and describe the scale and direction of changes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “While” and “Whereas,” but control is inconsistent and many sentences contain errors that can make the data difficult to interpret. Examples include “the number of shops closed was nearly about 8500, which fall straight,” where the verb form and tense are incorrect, and “this amount remain same,” which lacks agreement and an article. Sentence fragments such as “While in 2013 the number rises again” and “Whereas, this amount…” also weaken accuracy. Punctuation and capitalisation are uneven, particularly after full stops. Practise complete sentences, maintain past tense for the historical data, and check subject–verb agreement and articles when editing.

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