Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph depicts the number of shops that were closed and the number of new shops that were opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. The line graph shows that the number of closed shops were 8500 in 2011 which were then about 3000 in 2018 while the number of new shops were 6500 in 2011 and about 5000 in 2018. So it means that new shops were less than those in the past. The graph shows a huge decrease in number of new shops that were opened in 2015. At first new number of shops that were opened saw a surge but then slowly decline started near 2013 and again it's number increased after 2015 decline.

While the number of shops that were closed at first seen a decline 2012 but then its rate decreased and seen a surge in its value after 2012. So the graph explains there is no steadiness in number of shops that were closed.Overall, it is seen that more shops are closed than new are formed.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the two series and mentions broad movement, but it does not accurately report the chart’s main features. The opening figures are reversed: closures were about 6,400 in 2011, not 8,500, while openings were about 8,500, not 6,500. The 2018 figures are also misreported: closures were around 5,200 and openings around 3,000. The claim that closures generally exceeded openings is not supported; openings were higher in 2011, 2015, and 2017. The overview is therefore misleading, and several trends are vague or inaccurate, including the description of openings after 2015. To improve, select the key peaks, falls, and comparisons and report them precisely. (16 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.)

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introduction is followed by descriptions of openings and closures, and “Overall” signals a concluding summary. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the opening paragraph mixes figures, interpretation, and trend descriptions, while the final overview repeats a comparison that does not match the chart. Linking phrases such as “At first,” “but then,” and “after 2015” provide some sequencing, but their references are sometimes unclear, as in “its number increased” and “its rate decreased.” The paragraph break before “While” also leaves the relationship between the two series underdeveloped. Grouping each series’ changes in a clearer sequence and using precise references would strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses enough basic vocabulary to communicate the topic, including “depicts,” “surge,” “decline,” and “steadiness.” However, the range is limited and several choices are imprecise or awkward for describing data. “New shops were less than those in the past” does not clearly express a comparison in numbers, and “new number of shops” is not a natural phrase. “The rate decreased” is also unsuitable when discussing the number of closures, while “new are formed” is an imprecise way to describe shop openings. Aim for accurate chart language and natural collocations, such as “the number of openings fell” or “closures fluctuated.” This would make the account clearer and more appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, and the main topic is generally understandable. However, errors in agreement, tense, sentence construction, and punctuation occur often enough to make some statements awkward or unclear. For example, “the number of closed shops were 8500” has subject–verb disagreement, and “at first seen a decline 2012” lacks a correctly formed verb phrase and a preposition. The sentence beginning “So it means” is conversational and loosely connected to the preceding information. There is also a run-on transition in “Overall, it is seen…” because no space follows the preceding full stop. Use complete, controlled clauses—for example, “Closures declined in 2012, then rose in 2013”—and check agreement and punctuation.

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