Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrates the number of markets that closed and number of new shops that opened in one country from 2011 to 2018. Overall, I believe the number of closed shops showed a huge lowest difference from approximately 2014 to 2015. Other hand, the opened number of markets also showed some up down in all years. The number of opened shops started from around 8,500 in the year of 2011 and decreased repidly or reached almost 3,900 in 2012. After that opened shops went straight from 2012 to 2014. In the rest years, it decreased again and went to straight almost from 2015 to 2017 and the last year decreased again. The closed shops started from around 6,300 in 2011 and showed some little bit up downs almost in four years. After that it started decreasing repidly from around 6,200 in 2014. The rest years it decreased and showed the highest ratio and reached almost 500. From 2015 to others years it increased almost 5,100 and went straight or reached the same 5,100 in 2018.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies both series and gives some relevant figures, including the opening peak of about 8,500 in 2011 and the sharp fall in closures around 2015. However, the overview is unclear and sometimes inaccurate: “huge lowest difference” does not explain the main pattern, and the closures reached their lowest point in 2015, not their “highest ratio.” Several trends are also misreported. Openings rose from about 3,900 in 2012 to 6,200 in 2014, rather than simply going “straight,” while closures recovered to around 5,200 in 2016 and remained near that level in 2018. To improve, state the key overall contrasts clearly and check each trend against the graph before describing it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows a basic sequence, moving from an introduction and overview to openings and then closures, and time markers such as “After that” and “In the rest years” show an attempt to connect events. However, the ideas are not arranged coherently enough for the reader to follow the trends reliably. The overview is difficult to interpret, and the repeated transitions do not clarify which years or series are being compared. For example, “The rest years it decreased” has no clear reference, while “From 2015 to others years” leaves the period vague. Organise the report into a clear overview followed by one paragraph per series, and use precise year references and comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on “started,” “decreased,” “showed,” and “straight.” Some choices make the intended meaning difficult to understand: “huge lowest difference,” “highest ratio,” and “went straight” are not suitable descriptions of the graph’s movements. There are also spelling errors, including “repidly,” and imprecise labels such as calling the closed shops “markets.” The reader can identify the general topic, but these limitations strain clarity. Build a more accurate range of trend language, such as “fell sharply,” “fluctuated,” “recovered,” and “remained stable,” and use “shops” consistently for both series.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response uses mostly simple sentence patterns, with a few attempts to link clauses using “and” and time expressions. Errors are frequent and sometimes obscure relationships between events. For example, “Other hand” lacks the required introductory phrase, and “The rest years it decreased” has no clear grammatical subject or preposition. In “The number of opened shops started,” the noun phrase is awkwardly formed, while “from 2015 to others years” does not express the time period correctly. Sentence boundaries and article use are also inconsistent. Practise complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use accurate comparative structures, such as “Openings rose from 2012 to 2014, whereas closures fell sharply in 2015.”

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