Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given bar graph illustrates the information about the proportion of shops that closed while, the ratio of shops that opened in the year 2011 or 2018.

Overall, the line of closed shops were fluctuated also, the line was very high as compared to the line of opened shops then dramatically decreased. However, after sometime the ratio of closed shops were increased but at the end the graph was again deminished as compared to the number of opened mart.

Firstly, in 2011 the ratio of newly opened shops was around 6400 but later the same line reached around above 7100. Similarly, in the middle the value of newly lunched outlets approximately 700. On the other side, in 2018 the proportion was almost 5100.

Secondly, in the year 2011 the line of closed stores were started from around 8200 but after few months the line was declined nearly 3900. Whatever, in the center of the graph the value was around above 4000 but on the other hand in 2018 the ratio of opened shops approximately 3000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response makes an attempt to describe both series and includes an overview, but it does not accurately identify the main patterns or consistently distinguish openings from closures. For example, it says newly opened shops rose from about 6,400 to above 7,100, whereas those figures belong to closures; openings were about 8,500 in 2011 and 5,000 in 2013. It also reports a middle value of 700, apparently confusing the sharp 2015 fall in closures (about 600) with openings. The overview that closures were “very high” and then “dramatically decreased” is too vague and partly misassigned. To improve, identify the two series correctly, summarise their contrasting overall movements, and select a few accurate turning points and end values.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs, with sequencing markers such as “Firstly” and “Secondly.” This gives the response some organisation. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the paragraphs repeatedly switch between openings and closures without clear labels, and the second detail paragraph even changes from “closed stores” to “opened shops.” The overview also contains unclear references such as “the line” and “after sometime,” so readers cannot reliably tell which series or period is meant. Grouping the figures by series and using explicit references—for example, “shop closures” and “shop openings”—would make the comparisons easier to track. Use linking words to show genuine comparisons rather than as paragraph fillers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses a reasonable range of chart-related terms, including “proportion,” “ratio,” “declined,” “dramatically decreased,” and “approximately.” However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for this task, and repeated use of “ratio” and “proportion” obscures that the graph shows numbers of shops, not proportions. Phrases such as “newly lunched outlets,” “opened mart,” and “the graph was again deminished” are unclear or incorrectly formed, while “bar graph” misidentifies the line graph. Aim for precise, conventional reporting vocabulary and avoid substituting synonyms when they change the meaning. Terms such as “number,” “figure,” “rose,” “fell,” and “fluctuated” can describe the data more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentences, including contrastive forms with “while,” “however,” and “on the other side.” Nevertheless, errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Examples include “the line of closed shops were fluctuated,” where the verb form and agreement are faulty, and “the line of closed stores were started,” which also has an incorrect passive construction. Articles and sentence structure are problematic in “in the year 2011 the line … were started from around 8200.” Work on subject–verb agreement, past-tense reporting verbs, and complete sentence patterns. For instance, write “The number of closures fluctuated” and “Closures stood at about 6,400 in 2011.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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