Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The line graph compares the number of shops shutdown and the number of new shops started in a country between 2011 and 2018.

Overall, both the number of shops that are opened or closed showed significant fluctuations.Both represents a decrease between 2011 and 2018.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the graph’s subject and gives an overview, noting that both series fluctuate and generally decline from 2011 to 2018. However, it does not report any figures or describe the main changes, such as openings falling from about 8,500 to 3,000 or closures dropping sharply to around 600 in 2015 before recovering. The claim that both series fluctuate is relevant, but the overview is too broad to show the key contrasts. The response is also substantially below the required 150 words, leaving the task only minimally addressed. Add a clear overview and select several accurate figures and comparisons to support it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic, sensible order: it first introduces the graph and then gives an overall statement. The paragraph break also separates these functions. However, there is no further progression because the response ends before presenting details, comparisons, or supporting figures. The overview sentence attempts to connect the two series, but the ideas are compressed and the relationship between fluctuation and overall decline is not developed. To improve, organise the report into an introduction, an overview, and one or two detail paragraphs, grouping related years or contrasting openings with closures. Use clear links such as “by contrast” or “after this” where they genuinely clarify the sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The writer uses a small range of relevant vocabulary, including “line graph,” “number,” “fluctuations,” and “decrease,” so the general topic is understandable. However, the vocabulary is limited and some choices are not natural for describing this data: “shops shutdown” and “new shops started” are awkward formulations, while “opened or closed” is imprecise in this context. The response also repeats basic terms rather than using language for trends and comparisons. Use standard collocations such as “shops closed,” “new shops opened,” “the number of closures,” “fell sharply,” and “recovered.” A broader, more precise range would help communicate the graph’s changes clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response uses simple sentence forms that convey the general topic, and the introductory sentence is understandable. However, grammatical control is uneven. In “both the number of shops that are opened or closed showed,” the singular subject “number” does not agree with “showed,” and the present-tense “are opened” is inconsistent with the past period being described. “Both represents a decrease” also has an agreement error and an unclear pronoun reference. There is no space after the full stop in “fluctuations.Both,” which affects punctuation. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and agreement, for example: “Both figures fluctuated, but each ended lower than it began.”

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