Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph describes the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Overall, over 8500 shops were closed initially and by the end of 2018 it reached at 3000 shops only. At the same time, only 6500 new shops where opened the number went at 7000 too, and ended up at 5500 shops.

Firstly, In 2011, over 8500 shops where closed later it fell down significanlty to 4000 shops only. In addition, it became stable again but later, it fluctuates a lot due to that it further went down at 3500 shops only in 2018.

Secondly, the number of openings in 2011 were around 7500 shops, it remained unstable untill it rose down sharply and reached below 1000 shops, it became stable again and remained same till 2018, above 5000 shops. It further demostrates us, after a lot of fluctuations it becomes stable again in the end.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the two series and covers the full period, but its account of the data is substantially inaccurate, so the main features are not reliably reported. It says that more than 8,500 shops closed in 2011, whereas that was the opening figure; closures were about 6,400. It also describes closures falling to 4,000 and later to 3,500, although the sharp fall to about 600 occurred in 2015 and closures then recovered to around 5,000. The overview likewise reverses or misstates the end figures. The response is also 11 words below the 150-word minimum; 21 words copied from the prompt were not counted. Select and compare the actual peaks, troughs, and overall end points before drafting.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: an introduction is followed by an overview and two body paragraphs, with “Firstly” and “Secondly” signalling separate series. However, progression is difficult to follow because the descriptions mix trends and figures, and the overview does not clearly establish the main comparisons. For example, “it became stable again” and “it fluctuates a lot” do not specify which years or series are being described. The final sentence repeats the idea of stability without adding a clear comparison. Use one paragraph for the overview and organise the details chronologically within each series, linking each change to its year and avoiding repeated general statements.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant trend vocabulary, including “fell,” “rose,” “sharply,” “fluctuations,” and “remained stable,” and the reader can generally recognise that changes are being described. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “it rose down sharply,” “fell down significantly,” and “it further demonstrates us.” Repetition of “shops,” “stable,” and “again” also limits precision. Spelling errors such as “significanlty,” “untill,” and “demostrates” are noticeable. Build a more accurate set of chart verbs and use them with the correct direction: for example, distinguish a fall from a rise, and describe a figure as reaching a low rather than saying it “went down at” a number.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, and the basic meaning is often recoverable. However, errors are frequent, particularly in verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction. Examples include “shops where opened” instead of “were opened,” “the number went at 7000,” and “the number of openings … were,” where the singular subject requires “was.” The overview sentence beginning “At the same time” joins several ideas without clear grammatical control, while “it reached at 3000” uses an incorrect preposition pattern. Capitalisation after “Firstly” is also inconsistent. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build shorter, complete sentences first; then combine them using controlled clauses such as “while” or “whereas.”

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