Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given bar chart demonstrate information about number of shop closures and openings [redacted phone] . The chart compares different categories and presents the data in number or percentages .

Overall , it is clear that there are noticeable among the categories shown in the chart . New shops in one country between [redacted phone] to the compared . In addition , some categories shows some fluctuation increment as well as decrement whereas for some cases they remain stable .

According to the chart , the first main activities 2011 closed the shop 6400 number , 2012 closed and 6000 number , 2013 closed 7100 , 2014 close shops 6550 numbers , 2015 closed very low number 600, 2016 the number 5100, [redacted phone] number , [redacted phone] number . This show a clear comparison among the activities .

Let have a look at remaining informations , it is evident that the activity 2011 the shops open 8600 , 2012 open 3900 ,2013 open the shop 5000 , 2014 open the shop 6150 , 2015 open the shop 4000 numbers , 2016 same last year 4000 , 2016 oen the shop 4000 , 2017 the number 4100 , at the last [redacted phone] number open the shops . Furthermore ,all the data suggest that there is no stability in all the activities .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify both series and report many figures across 2011–2018, including the sharp fall in closures to about 600 in 2015 and the decline in openings to about 3,000 by 2018. However, the response gives little meaningful overview: statements such as “there are noticeable among the categories” and “no stability in all the activities” do not clearly summarise the main patterns. Some details are inaccurate or confusing, including repeating 2016 openings as 4,000 and then listing 2017, while the closures generally remain around 5,000–7,200 apart from the 2015 low. The introduction also calls the visual a bar chart and mentions percentages, although it is a line graph showing numbers. Select the key trends and compare the series directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, an attempted overview, and separate descriptions of closures and openings. This gives the reader some sense of how the information is organised. However, progression is weak because the overview is vague and the body paragraphs mostly list figures without explaining how they relate to one another. Linking phrases such as “According to the chart” and “Let have a look at remaining informations” are repetitive or awkward, and the duplicated 2016 opening figure interrupts the sequence. Use a clear overview followed by logically ordered comparisons, and check that each year appears once in chronological order. More precise referencing would also make the relationships between the two lines easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “shop closures,” “open,” “number,” and “fluctuation,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are repetitive or imprecise, such as “closed the shop 6400 number,” “open the shop,” and “clear comparison among the activities.” Some word forms and spelling also reduce clarity, including “informations” and “oen.” The response occasionally uses unsuitable terms: “bar chart” and “percentages” do not accurately describe the visual. Build a more precise set of trend and comparison phrases, such as “the number of closures fell,” “openings peaked,” and “remained relatively stable,” and use them accurately rather than repeating “the shop” and “number.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few longer sentence forms, including “Overall, it is clear that…” and “whereas for some cases they remain stable,” but most of the report relies on short, list-like clauses. Frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms make several statements difficult to read. For example, “The given bar chart demonstrate information” lacks subject–verb agreement, while “2012 closed and 6000 number” is not a complete, well-formed clause. “Let have a look” also has an incorrect verb construction, and punctuation spacing is inconsistent. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, for example, “Closures fell to about 5,900 in 2012,” and use consistent past-tense reporting. This will make the figures much easier to understand.

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