Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The line graph illustrates the changing in numbers of newly opened and closed shops during the period of 8 years from 2011 to 2018 in one country.

Overall,the number of newly opened shops increased over the period,although there were some fluctuations.

In (2011) the number of closed shops were 8500,which was on its hightest count,but ontheother hand in 2018 it was on its lowest that was 3000.Furthermore, 2013 was the year in which newly opened shops increased.

Additionally, the count of closed shops in 2012 was 4

thousand and it remains constant in 2015,2016,and 2017.But ontheother side in these years the newely opened shops were 5000 that is minor difference.

So this graphs shows us the diff

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 2.5

The response identifies the period and attempts an overview, but it does not accurately summarise the graph’s main features. The overview says shop openings increased overall, whereas they fell from about 8,500 in 2011 to 3,000 in 2018. Several figures are assigned to the wrong series: 8,500 and 3,000 are opening figures, not closures, and closures in 2012 were about 5,900 rather than 4,000. The claim that closures stayed constant from 2015 to 2017 is also inaccurate; they fell sharply to about 600 in 2015, then rose to around 5,200 and eased slightly. The response is incomplete and is 33 words below the required minimum. Select accurate key comparisons and describe the major fluctuations before adding detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response, beginning with an introduction and an overview, followed by details about particular years. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Furthermore,” and “Additionally” show an effort to connect ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the two series are repeatedly confused, and phrases such as “on the other hand” and “But on the other side” do not establish clear comparisons. The final sentence, “So this graphs shows us the diff,” is unfinished, leaving the response without a proper conclusion. Use separate, logically ordered paragraphs for the overview and key data, and make each comparison explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant vocabulary, including “line graph,” “period,” “fluctuations,” and “count,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate, such as “changing in numbers,” “hightest count,” and “minor difference.” Spelling and spacing problems, including “newely” and “ontheother,” also make the writing less clear. Some phrases are vague or conversational, particularly “this graphs shows us the diff,” which does not communicate a precise summary. Build a more accurate set of chart-description terms and use them consistently to distinguish shop openings from closures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentences, for example, “Overall, the number of newly opened shops increased over the period, although there were some fluctuations.” However, errors occur frequently enough to make several sentences awkward or unclear. In “the number of closed shops were,” the singular subject requires a singular verb; “in 2018 it was on its lowest” also has an unclear construction. Articles, punctuation, and sentence boundaries are inconsistent, and the final fragment is incomplete. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and complete sentence patterns, then check punctuation and verb forms. Clearer control of these basics would make the comparisons easier to understand.

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