Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The statistical information show that the average of the ratio in numbers of shop closures and opening in 2011 to 2018.

Overall, it can be start from 2011 and shops open at 6300 and close in 8500 and next year opening for new shop 6000 and close at 3900. Therefore, the 2013 is a opening for shops in 7100 and close 5000. Along with the many humans are invest the money for shop in 2014 is a opening for 6500 and more people are loss for shop and close the shops at 6300.

At a glance, the next years in more less in growth in the nerw opening shops in 800 only and close for many shops in 5000 and aftewr six years in new open the shops in 5200 and shop flop rise in 5200. Moreover, the 2017 is a new shops open in the 5000 and shop close in the 4200 and last year show graop the 2018 is a opening shops 5200 and shops closed ratio in the 3000 and last decrease shop has been closed.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response attempts to cover the full period and mentions both openings and closures, but the main figures are repeatedly reversed or inaccurate. For example, it says that in 2011 shops opened at 6,300 and closed at 8,500, whereas the graph shows about 8,500 openings and 6,400 closures. Similar reversals occur in 2012 and 2018, and the claim that openings fell to 800 in 2015 is not supported; the figure is about 4,000, while closures drop sharply to around 600. There is no clear, accurate overview of the key trends, such as the dramatic 2015 fall in closures and the overall decline in openings. Select a few reliable comparisons and report them accurately before adding detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is an attempt to organise the response chronologically, with references to 2011, 2012, and later years, and phrases such as “Overall” and “Moreover” signal transitions. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several years and series are combined in long, unclear sentences. For instance, the paragraph beginning “At a glance” moves from 2015 to “after six years” and then to 2017 and 2018 without clear links between the figures. The opening sentence also does not establish a clear overview. Use separate paragraphs for an overview and the detailed comparisons, and give each year or trend a clear subject so readers can distinguish openings from closures.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “shop closures,” “new shop,” “ratio,” and “decrease,” and makes an effort to describe change. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unclear, which makes the data difficult to interpret. Phrases such as “a opening for shops,” “many humans are invest the money for shop,” and “shop flop rise” do not express standard graph descriptions. There are also spelling errors, including “nerw” and “aftewr.” Build a more precise set of trend expressions and use them consistently—for example, “the number of shops opening,” “closures fell sharply,” and “openings peaked at.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to form longer sentences and uses time references, but grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors frequently obscure the relationships between the figures. Examples include “The statistical information show,” “it can be start from 2011,” and “the 2013 is a opening,” which show problems with agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction. Articles and plural forms are also unreliable, as in “new shop” and “the shops.” Several sentences join multiple ideas without clear grammatical structure, making it hard to tell which number refers to openings or closures. Practise accurate simple comparison sentences first, then combine them with clauses such as “while” or “whereas,” checking subject–verb agreement and tense.

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