Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph illustrate the number of shops closed and the number of new shops opened in a particular country between the year 2011 and 2018. overall, there was a high fall between the number of shop closures and opening , it expericenced a significant drop throughout. the highest number was 8500 and it fell to 4000 amd went up slightly to 6000 and it experienced marginal decerease throughout till it reached its peak at 3000
looking at the second line graph, it started from 6500, went up and went down then it experienced a substantial fall to 1000 and a large increase again to 5000 then it had a minimal decrease between the last two slope . it can be seen that the graph figures where just experiencing significant rising and fall between 2011 and 2018 .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The response identifies the chart’s subject and attempts to describe both series, but it does not give a reliable overview of their main features. The opening-series figures are partly recognisable, yet the account says they rose to 6,000 and then declined to 3,000 without clearly anchoring these changes to years. For closures, the stated fall to 1,000 is inaccurate: the chart shows about 600 in 2015, followed by a recovery to around 5,200. The claim that this series “went up and went down” is too vague to report the key fluctuations. The response is also 12 words below the required minimum. Include a clear overview and accurate, selected comparisons to address the task more fully.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is a basic attempt to organise the response, beginning with an introduction and then using “overall” and “looking at the second line graph” to signal a shift. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the two series are not clearly named in the body, and several changes are compressed into long, loosely connected sequences. For example, “it started from 6500, went up and went down” does not make clear which years or line are being described. The overview also repeats the idea of rises and falls rather than summarising the main contrast. Use separate, focused paragraphs for the overview and details, and connect each figure explicitly to its series and year.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “significant drop,” “substantial fall,” “marginal decrease,” and “peak,” showing an attempt to vary language. However, several choices are imprecise or repetitive: “high fall” is not a natural description, and “significant rising and fall” does not clearly convey the data. “Second line graph” is also an unclear label when the task presents two series on one graph. Spelling errors such as “expericenced” and “decerease” are noticeable, while “amd” appears to be a typing error. Aim for accurate trend language and use terms such as “shop closures,” “shop openings,” “declined,” and “recovered” consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response attempts both simple and more extended sentences, but grammatical control is uneven. The opening has a subject–verb agreement error (“The line graph illustrate”), and the overview begins with a lower-case “overall” after a full stop. In “it started from 6500, went up and went down,” the repeated verbs lack a clear subject, making the reference difficult to follow. The phrase “between the last two slope” also has number and sentence-structure problems. These issues sometimes obscure which series is being described. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, clear pronoun references, and complete sentences; then check punctuation and capitalisation when editing.
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