Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The given graph illustrate the number of shops that closed and the number of new shop that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.The chart compares different categories information presents the data in numbers and percentagesOverall, It ca be seen that there are noticeable information by different categories shown in the chart,opening apear to be the highest while closing are the opposite.In addition,Some categories fluctuation by different information increment as well as decrement whereas some data are the remain stable.According to the graph,The first activity in 2011 opening the shops was 8500 and closing 6500.The followed by the second information 2012 opening the shops was 4000 and closing 6000.In 2013 the number of shops opened 5000 and closing 7000.In [redacted phone] shops open and 6500 shops closing.[redacted phone] shops opened and 1000 shops closed.And the remaining information 2018 the 5000 shops was opened and 3000 was closed

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the two series and reports several figures, including the high opening figure in 2011 and the sharp fall in closures in 2015. However, it does not provide a clear, accurate overview: the claim that openings were highest while closures were the opposite is vague and does not capture the overall pattern. Some figures are inaccurate or incomplete: 2012 openings were about 3,900, not 4,000; 2015 closures were about 600, not 1,000; and the final sentence reverses the 2018 figures, reporting 5,000 openings and 3,000 closures instead of about 3,000 and 5,200. Data for 2016–17 are omitted. The response is 129 words, below the 150-word minimum; the 20 prompt words were excluded from the count. Select key trends and report them accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence through the years, and the response attempts an overview before giving figures. However, the information is presented as one continuous block, with no clear paragraphing to separate the overview from the details. Connections between ideas are often unclear: phrases such as “The followed by the second information” and “the remaining information 2018” do not guide the reader effectively. The overview also contains several vague statements about “different categories” and stable data, rather than establishing a clear progression. Use a short introduction and overview, followed by one or two logically grouped detail paragraphs. Link comparisons directly—for example, contrast the two series in selected years—and use time markers consistently.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant task vocabulary, including “shops,” “opened,” “closed,” “number,” and “fluctuation,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “different categories information,” “opening apear to be the highest,” and “some data are the remain stable.” Repeated use of “information” also makes the description imprecise; the graph shows figures for two series, not categories or percentages. Spelling errors such as “apear” further reduce control. Build a more precise set of trend and comparison expressions, such as “rose,” “fell sharply,” “remained relatively stable,” and “exceeded,” and use “shop openings” and “shop closures” consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few longer structures, including “Overall, it can be seen that…” and a contrast introduced by “whereas,” but most reporting is built from incomplete or poorly controlled sentence patterns. For example, “The followed by the second information 2012 opening the shops was 4000” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “In 2014 6000 shops open and 6500 shops closing” has inconsistent verb forms. There are also agreement and article problems in “The given graph illustrate” and “the number of new shop.” Punctuation is weak: several sentences run together without spaces after full stops, and capitalisation is inconsistent. Practise complete comparative sentences with accurate past-tense verbs and clear punctuation.

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