Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The data illustrates the number of shops that shut down and the number of new shops that opened in one country from 2011 to 2018.

The trend in both the opening and closing of shops from 2011 to 2018 fluctuated. There were more shops closed in 2011 than opened, it differed throughout the years and in the year 2018 more shops were opened than closed.

In 2011 almost 8500 shops were closed and around 6300 new shops came into being. There was a major drop in shop closure in the year 2012 and almost less than 4000 shops were closed. Then the data remained almost steady for shops closures between 2015 to 2017, not more than 6500 shops in 2014 and not less than 4000 shops shut down till the year 2017. On the other hand shops opening took a major downfall as it reached to less than 1000 in the year 2015 but eventually grew back to more than 5000 the next year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies the topic and attempts to describe changes over the period, but it reports several central figures and trends inaccurately, which substantially limits how fully it addresses the task. In 2011, about 8,500 shops opened and 6,400 closed; your account reverses these figures. The sharp fall in closures occurred in 2015, to about 600, not in 2012, and openings did not fall below 1,000 in 2015. They were around 4,000 then and remained near that level in 2016. The claim that openings exceeded closures in 2018 is also incorrect. Include a clear overview of the actual extremes and overall pattern, then select accurate comparisons to support it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic sequence from an introduction to a general statement and then details, and phrases such as “On the other hand” show an attempt to compare the two series. However, the progression is not consistently clear: the overview says the figures “differed throughout the years” without explaining how, and the final comparison gives an incorrect account of openings. The long third paragraph also moves between closures and openings without a clear structure, making the trends harder to follow. Organise the details into a logical sequence—for example, describe closures first and openings second—and use linking phrases to mark changes over time. Clearer paragraphing and more precise references would strengthen the overall flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss the graph, including “fluctuated,” “major drop,” “remained almost steady,” and “grew back.” These choices help convey movement and show some variety beyond basic terms. However, several expressions are imprecise or unnatural for a data report: “shops came into being,” “major downfall,” and “not more than 6500 shops in 2014” do not describe the figures clearly. Repetition of “shops” and “closed” also limits flexibility. Choose standard graph language and pair it accurately with the data, such as “the number of openings fell” or “closures reached a low.” This would make the account more precise and appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response includes both simple statements and attempts at more complex sentences, such as “There was a major drop … and almost less than 4000 shops were closed.” Meaning is generally recoverable, but some grammatical errors and awkward constructions reduce clarity. For example, “There were more shops closed” would be more naturally formed as “More shops closed,” while “it differed throughout the years” has an unclear pronoun reference. The sentence beginning “Then the data remained almost steady” also has an unclear subject and an incomplete comparison structure. Review article use, plural forms, and sentence boundaries, and make sure each pronoun clearly refers to a series or figure. More controlled complex sentences would improve accuracy.

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