Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illusrates the comparison between number of shops closed and new shops opened in a country from 2011 to 2018. Overall, year 2013 proved to be a year for highest closure of shops while in 2015 a few number of shops were closed. Maximum number of shops were inugurated in 2011 and least in 2018.
The trend of opening new shops has a lot of variations. The highest count of shops is approxiately 8500 in 2011 which then swiftly delined to 4000 in 2012. After 2012, there was a gradual increase in new stores opening till 2014. Then a drastic drop in ratio of newly inugurated shops occured from around 5900 in 2014 to estimately 4000 in 2015. The count of new retail centers remain unchanged till 2016 and dropped to 3000 in 2018 after a minimal rise of 4100 approximately in 2017
On the other hand, in 2011 estimately 6300 shops were closed which dereased to 4900 in 2012 and then raised to 7100 approximately in 2013. The end of business of the old shops begun to plummet from 2014 and a significantly decline to around 600 in 2015. From 2016 to 2018, the old shops emarked to close rapidly and the figures were 5000 to 5100 approximately.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You identify the main overall features: closures peaked in 2013 and fell sharply in 2015, while openings were highest in 2011 and lowest in 2018. Most figures and broad movements are reported accurately. However, some details are unclear or inaccurate: closures in 2012 were about 5,900, not 4,900, and openings rose to about 6,200 in 2014, rather than 5,900. The statement that closures began to “plummet from 2014” also oversimplifies the series, since the major fall occurred between 2014 and 2015. The overview is relevant, but the comparison between the two series and their contrasting end-of-period patterns could be developed more clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction and overview are followed by separate paragraphs for openings and closures. This makes the two series easy to locate, and transitions such as “On the other hand” help signal the shift in focus. The sequence within each paragraph is generally chronological. To make the progression more cohesive and precise, avoid vague references such as “the count” and “the figures” when it is not immediately clear which series is meant. Some linking is also mechanical, with repeated “then” and “after” constructions. A more direct comparison of the series at key points, especially in 2015 and 2018, would strengthen the flow between the paragraphs.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “gradual increase,” “drastic drop,” “retail centers,” and “decline,” and the reader can generally understand the trends you describe. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “a few number,” “inugurated,” “the end of business,” and “old shops emarked to close.” Spelling errors, including “illusrates,” “delined,” and “occured,” also reduce accuracy. Some phrases are unnecessarily elaborate where a standard chart description would be clearer. Aim for precise, natural terms such as “shops opened,” “closures fell sharply,” and “the number remained stable”; check spelling and use collocations consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses linked with “which” and “while,” and most of the intended meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly with articles, agreement, and verb forms. For example, “between number of shops” needs an article, while “The count … remain unchanged” should use a past-tense verb and agree with its singular subject. The phrase “a significantly decline” also has an incorrect grammatical form, and “the figures were 5000 to 5100” lacks a clear comparison structure. Review past-tense consistency for this historical period and check sentence patterns after quantifiers and linking words. More accurate control of these structures would make the report easier to read.
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