Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrates the number of shops that closed and number of new shops that opened in country between 2011 and 2018.

Overall,the dotted line depicts the rapid closure of shops during the period of time while other line shows the number of shops that opened. The newly opened shops dwindled initially, but it surged after brief interval of time while the closure emporium decreased throughout the time interval.

Firstly, the closure of shops faced a rapid decline from 8500 to 4000 shops while a remarkable surge is noticed from 4000 to 6000 markets while its number declined gradually and reached at 6000 shops during [redacted phone]. Additionally, the newly opened markets shows a little decline but escalated fromm 6000 to 7000 but it dwindled steadily and reached alrming fraction of 0.Furthermore, the shops opening surpassed the fraction of 5000 and it remained same at the end.The number of new stalls increased as compared to initial closure.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the two series and the period, but its account of the main features is substantially inaccurate, so the reader cannot reliably understand the graph. For example, it says closures fell from 8,500 to 4,000 and later rose to 6,000; those figures describe neither the closure series nor its overall pattern. The closure figure actually drops sharply to about 600 in 2015, then recovers to around 5,200. The description of openings is also confused: it claims they rose from 6,000 to 7,000 and reached zero, whereas the series ends at about 3,000. The overview does not clearly compare the two trends. Select the major turning points and report each series accurately before adding detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, an overview beginning “Overall,” and a detail paragraph introduced by “Firstly.” This gives the response some organisation. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the detail paragraph shifts between closures and openings without clearly identifying which series is being described. Phrases such as “while its number declined” and “the shops opening surpassed the fraction” have unclear references, and “Furthermore” does not establish a clear relationship between the points that follow. Organise the body by series or by time period, and use explicit references such as “shop closures” and “shop openings” rather than “it” or “its number.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response attempts a range of trend vocabulary, including “rapid decline,” “surge,” “dwindled,” and “escalated,” showing some ability to describe movement. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for this chart and sometimes make the meaning hard to interpret. “Closure emporium” and “markets” are unsuitable substitutes for shops, while “alarming fraction of 0” is both imprecise and inconsistent with the data. There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “fromm” and “alrming.” Use a smaller set of precise terms consistently, such as “number of closures,” “fell sharply,” and “recovered,” and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses joined with “while” and “but,” but control is uneven and errors recur. The opening sentence omits articles (“the number of shops that closed and number”) and “in country” needs an article. Subject–verb agreement is also inconsistent in “the newly opened markets shows,” and the long sentence beginning “Firstly” contains unclear clause connections that make the relationships between figures difficult to follow. Punctuation is sometimes faulty, as in “Overall,the,” and spacing around punctuation is inconsistent. Build shorter, clearly structured sentences first, then check articles, agreement, and punctuation when combining ideas.

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