Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph line illustrate the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Overall, the number of shop declined consitderably, while shop closures flucted through the period. In 2011 the dashed board is 8500 to start than 2012 sharply 3900 downward decrease than again increase 6100 in 2014. so, the trend is downward 4000 decrease in 2015. than continuously decrease in the downward trend in 2016 and neither again increase 4100 in 2017 and last decrease 3000 in 2018. However, black solid line is and the shops open flucted through the period. the trend shops 6500 starting in 2011 an than decrease 6000 in 2012. than upar the increase 7200 the trend shop in 2013. Moreover, the trend again downward the trend shop and it is 6700 in 2014. either very sharply became the downward highly became a zero in 2015. than after increase 5200 the upward and it is sharply the became increase in 2016. last but not least, the trend shop opening and decrease by 5000 in 2017. and the trend shop increase upward by 5200 in 2018.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify both series and cover the full period, and you report several key movements, including the opening figure of about 8,500 and the sharp fall in closures in 2015. However, the overview is unclear and partly inaccurate: “the number of shop declined considerably” does not distinguish openings from closures, and closures fluctuated rather than declining overall. Several figures are also misreported: openings were about 6,200 in 2014, not 6,100; closures were about 6,500 in 2014, not 6,700; and closures fell to roughly 600 in 2015, not zero. The response mainly lists year-by-year changes without clearly selecting the most important comparisons. State the overall patterns accurately, then support them with a few reliable figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows the graph chronologically and attempts to separate the two lines, so the reader can recognise which series is being discussed. However, ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the progression is difficult to follow because many sentences are fragments or run together. Connectors such as “than,” “so,” “Moreover,” and “last but not least” are repeated or used in ways that do not clearly show the relationship between points. The shift from openings to closures is also confusing: “However, black solid line” does not provide a clear transition. Organise the response into an introduction, a concise overview, and two data paragraphs, using accurate links such as “by contrast” and “after this.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant graph vocabulary, including “sharply,” “increase,” “decrease,” and “downward,” showing an attempt to describe movement. However, the range is basic and highly repetitive, and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to understand. Phrases such as “dashed board,” “upar the increase,” and “the trend shop” are not appropriate descriptions of the graph. There are also spelling errors, including “consitderably” and “flucted.” Use a smaller set of precise terms consistently—for example, “shop openings,” “shop closures,” “rose,” “fell,” and “fluctuated”—and check spelling and natural word combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

There are attempts to describe changes across time, but sentence structures are very limited and frequent grammatical errors sometimes obscure the intended meaning. For example, “The graph line illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, while “the number of shop declined” has an incorrect singular/plural pattern. Many clauses are joined without complete sentence structure or appropriate punctuation, as in “In 2011 the dashed board is 8500 to start than 2012 sharply 3900.” Tense and sentence construction are also inconsistent. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, using the past tense for the historical data: “Openings fell from about 8,500 in 2011 to 3,900 in 2012.”

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