Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrated the number of shops which remain closed furthermore the number of shops that keep opened in one country between 2011 and 2008.

Overall the country experienced the number of shops closures and openings;however the number of closure rose clearly while they fluctuated over the period of time and then finally at the end there was a rapidly decline. the other factor has relatively oscillated and then finally drop at last they soared.

The figure for the number of closures shop in country started at approximately 8,5000 in 2011, and it had a sharp fall in 2012 with 4,000, in 2014 they rose gradually with about 6,000, in addition to the graph again decrease in 2015 around 4,000 again moreever they had fluctuated afterward, the graph had dip in 2018 about 3,000 .The number of shops opens began at under 7,000 before furthermore they had oscillated in between 2011 to 2014 with 6,500, afterward the graph become dramatically fall in 2015, then by 2016 the graph steady rose with 5,000, however at the end the slop become slightly increase with 5,000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to describe both series and includes an overview, but the main features are not reported accurately enough. Several figures and trends are assigned to the wrong series: closures began at about 6,400, not 8,500, and openings began at about 8,500, not below 7,000. The sharp fall in closures occurred in 2015, to roughly 600, rather than around 4,000; openings ended at about 3,000, not 5,000. The overview is also unclear and internally contradictory, saying closures “rose clearly” before a rapid decline. To make the report more effective, identify the contrasting overall patterns and the exceptional 2015 fall, then support these with correctly matched figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt at a basic report structure, with an opening, an overview and a paragraph of details, and the response refers to both shop closures and openings. However, progression is difficult to follow because the two series are repeatedly mixed together, and the overview does not clearly establish which trend belongs to which line. Linking words such as “furthermore,” “however” and “afterward” are frequent but often do not show a clear relationship between ideas. The long final paragraph also combines many years and comparisons in one sentence. Organise the details into separate, clearly sequenced accounts of closures and openings, and use linking expressions only where they clarify a comparison or change.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant trend vocabulary, including “sharp fall,” “fluctuated,” “gradually” and “slightly increase,” showing an attempt to describe movement rather than simply list figures. However, the range is basic and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to interpret, such as “shops which remain closed,” “shops that keep opened,” “the number of closures shop” and “the slop become slightly increase.” Repetition of “graph” and “number” also limits precision. Choose standard chart language and use it consistently: for example, “shop closures,” “shop openings,” “the figure fell,” and “the number rose.” Check spelling and word forms, especially “slope,” if that is the intended word.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts longer sentences and uses some time clauses, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes obscure the intended comparisons. Examples include “the number of shops that keep opened,” “the graph become dramatically fall,” and “the slop become slightly increase.” There are also problems with agreement and tense, as in “they fluctuated … and then finally … they soared,” where the reference is unclear, and punctuation is often missing around clauses. Sentence structures are mostly joined into long strings with commas, limiting control. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use past-tense forms consistently when describing the 2011–2018 data.

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