Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The graph illustrates the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country among 2011 and 2018.

To begin with, the number of shops that are opened between 2011 and 2018. The shops were six thousand at the start of this journey. It decreases some of its shops however it had increased to seven thousand shops after some time. Consequently, various changes occurs in this time period and at the last time, its percentage decreases comparing to the shops that was at the startup.

Moreover, the shops that was closed in this passage of time was at a very high percentage. According to the diagram, at the startup of this journey, numerous shops are included than they had at the end of this period. However, many changes occur in the number of shops. It closed a number of shops at the start consequently, when the time had passed, it loses several shops.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the general topic and attempts to describe changes over the period, but it does not accurately report the graph’s main features. The figures and trends are confused: for example, “the shops were six thousand at the start” appears to refer to closures, not openings, while openings began at about 8,500. The claim that shops increased to 7,000 also does not match the openings series. There is no clear overview of the contrasting overall patterns, and several statements are too vague to verify, such as “various changes occur.” The response is also below the required 150 words; 17 words copied from the prompt were not counted. To improve, give a concise overview and support it with accurate comparisons and key figures for both series.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction and two body paragraphs, with “To begin with” and “Moreover” signalling a shift in focus. However, the ideas within each paragraph do not progress clearly, and the reader cannot reliably tell which series is being described. The first body paragraph begins with openings but then gives figures and changes without identifying the relevant years; the second similarly moves between closures and general statements. Connectors such as “Consequently” and “However” are used, but they do not consistently show a clear logical relationship between the ideas. A stronger structure would present an overview, then describe each series in chronological order, using year references and clear labels throughout.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant vocabulary, including “number,” “increased,” “decreases,” and “closed,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are vague or unnatural for describing a line graph. Phrases such as “at the start of this journey,” “at the startup,” and “a very high percentage” do not precisely describe the data; the graph shows numbers of shops, not percentages. “It loses several shops” is also an imprecise way to describe a decline in the figures. Use standard data-reporting language and precise terms for movement, such as “rose,” “fell,” “peaked,” and “remained stable,” alongside “number of shops” and relevant years.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and more extended sentence forms, including clauses joined with “however” and “consequently.” Meaning is sometimes recoverable, but grammatical control is inconsistent. Examples include “the number of shops that are opened,” where the tense and passive form are unsuitable for a past-period report, and “various changes occurs,” which has subject–verb disagreement. There are also errors in “the shops that was closed” and “than they had at the end,” where agreement and sentence construction are faulty. The repeated use of present-tense forms also conflicts with the historical period. Practise past-tense reporting and agreement, and build shorter, complete sentences before combining ideas with conjunctions.

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