Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of shops that closed and new shops opened measured, thousands in one country between 2011 to 2018.

According to given data, old shops considerably more opended at nearest 9000 in 2011 whereas, new shops subsequencly stable around 6500 from both year starting. In contrast, old shops fallen down at 4000 to closed and new shops were stabled at 6000 shops opened in 2012.

From the year 2013, old shops and new shops rose to at 5000 and around 7000 reached. After, old and new shops were considerable equal position around 6000 shops in 2014. From the year 2015, New shops decreased at 500 whereas, old shops sligtly decreased at 4000 were opened.

Overall, old shops significantly stable for three years from 2015 to 2017 at 4000 shops opened whereas, New shops rose to at 5000 and stable from 2016 to 2018 which was highest in last three years compared to old shops. In contrast, old shops decreased and reached at 3000 shops were opened.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify both series and cover the full period, but the account does not accurately report several central figures or trends, which makes the main features difficult to follow. For example, closures were about 6,400 in 2011, not nearly 9,000, and openings were about 8,500; the 2012 figures are also reversed or misreported. Most seriously, closures fell to about 600 in 2015, not 4,000, while openings were around 4,000. The overview is unclear and internally inconsistent: it describes openings as stable around 5,000 from 2016 to 2018, although they declined to about 3,000 by 2018. Select the major peaks, falls and end-point comparison, and check each figure against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has paragraph breaks and follows a broadly chronological order, moving from the early years to later changes. This gives the reader some structure, and phrases such as “From the year 2013” and “From the year 2015” signal time shifts. However, progression is weakened by unclear comparisons and repeated, mechanical linking with “whereas” and “in contrast.” The opening paragraph also mixes the two series in a way that is hard to interpret, while the final paragraph repeats earlier information and ends with a confusing comparison. Organise the report into a clear introduction, an overview of the main trends, and two detail paragraphs. Use references such as “the former” and “the latter” only when their meaning is unmistakable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “line graph,” “decreased,” “rose,” and “stable,” so the reader can recognise that you are describing changes over time. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive, sometimes obscuring the intended meaning: “old shops” does not clearly mean shop closures, and “shops were opened” is used where you mean the number of openings. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “opended,” “subsequencly,” and “sligtly.” Build a more precise set of terms for the two categories, such as “closures” and “openings,” and use verbs like “stood at,” “fell,” and “recovered” accurately. Proofreading spelling and word forms would make the description easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “whereas” and “in contrast,” but these structures are often faulty, and the range of sentence patterns remains limited. Errors in tense, agreement, articles and sentence construction occur throughout. Examples include “The line graph illustrates … measured, thousands,” “old shops considerably more opended,” and “old shops and new shops rose to at 5000 and around 7000 reached.” These make relationships between the figures difficult to interpret. Practise forming a clear subject–verb structure, then add one accurate comparison or time clause at a time. For instance, use a pattern such as “Closures fell to about 600 in 2015, while openings remained at around 4,000.” Check verb forms and prepositions when editing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.