Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Below paragraph represents that the number of shops closures are ranging between 9,000 to 3,000 and number of shop opening are ranging between 7,000 to 5,000 and 6,000 are the common point between both.

In 2011 having 9,000 Shops but in 2012 its decline in to 4,000 and then gradually increasing 1000 yearly but in 2015 its again declined by 1000 and hold on same with 2 year then again decline with 1000 in 2018. In 2015 get a massive decrease but recover a huge part in next one year after that holding the same not measure decline faced. In 2014 got a break even point at 6000 where opening and closure both are on the same level

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies that both series change over time and attempts to compare them, but it reports several key figures inaccurately. For example, closures were about 6,400 in 2011, not 9,000, and openings were about 8,500 that year, not within the stated 5,000–7,000 range. The claim that both series meet at 6,000 in 2014 is also incorrect: closures were around 6,500 and openings around 6,200. The sharp fall in closures in 2015 and their recovery in 2016 are relevant features, but the overview is unclear and other trends are misreported. The response is 32 words below the required minimum, further limiting its coverage. Include an accurate overview and select a few reliable comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response by giving a general statement first and then describing changes over time. The references to 2011, 2015 and 2018 provide some chronological progression. However, the ideas are not arranged clearly enough to form a coherent summary: the opening sentence gives confusing ranges, and the following account shifts between yearly changes and a repeated description of the 2015 fall without clearly separating the two series. Linking phrases such as “then” and “after that” are used, but they do not make the relationships between figures precise. The final sentence about a break-even point is not supported by the data. Use a clear overview followed by separate, logically ordered comparisons of closures and openings.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses some relevant vocabulary for describing a line graph, including “decline,” “increasing,” “massive decrease,” “recover” and “break even point.” These choices show an attempt to describe movement rather than merely list figures. However, several phrases are imprecise or awkward for this task, such as “hold on same,” “not measure decline faced” and “common point,” which make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Capitalisation is also inconsistent in “Shops.” Aim for standard graph language and accurate collocations, for example “remained stable,” “fell sharply,” and “the figures were similar.” More precise vocabulary would help distinguish a peak, a fall, a recovery and a stable period.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to use both simple statements and longer sentences to describe changes, but grammatical control is inconsistent and errors sometimes obscure the meaning. For example, “In 2011 having 9,000 Shops” lacks a complete verb structure, while “its decline in to 4,000” has problems with the verb form and sentence construction. The phrase “In 2015 get a massive decrease” also lacks a clear subject and uses an unsuitable tense. Agreement and article use are weak in “the number of shops closures are,” and punctuation does not reliably separate ideas. The limited range of accurate sentence patterns makes the timeline difficult to follow. Practise complete past-tense sentences with a clear subject, such as “Closures fell sharply in 2015, then recovered in 2016.”

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