Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart illustates the number of shops that closed and the number of new shopsthat maked in a nation from 2011 to 2018.

Overall, in 2011 highly openings was new shops. However closer shop was same as but some change. And in 2015 only few shop closed. After graph was rose. New openind shop was grew and drop.

In 2011, the number of new shops that opened was highly at 8,500. Then graph was sharp fell stop at only 4000. After graph was also climbed at around 6100. Then return in 2015 graph reduced at 4000. And stable between 2015 and 2016. In 2016, graph was minor growth at only 100 shops. Then graph was dipped at 3000 and that year less new shops opened.

In starting year, grapg was at around 6400. After slight fell and reached at 6000. After boosted at 7100. In 2014 graph dramatic dropped at only 500. And after next year increased at 5000. In 2016 graph at stable next 2 year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify both series and cover the full period, and you notice the major low point in shop closures and the later decline in openings. However, the overview is unclear and includes inaccurate claims: closures did not reach their lowest point in 2014, as stated later; the sharp fall to about 600 occurred in 2015. The opening figures are also misreported: after about 3,900 in 2012, they rose to roughly 5,000 in 2013 and 6,200 in 2014, not around 6,100 after a general climb. The response gives some relevant figures but does not clearly summarise the main overall patterns or compare the two series. A more accurate overview and carefully selected comparisons would make the report more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the report into an introduction, an overview and two paragraphs describing the series. This gives the reader some sense of the intended structure. However, progression within the paragraphs is difficult to follow because links such as “After graph” and “And after next year” are repeated without clearly identifying which series or year is being discussed. Some statements are also contradictory or incomplete, for example, “In 2014 graph dramatic dropped at only 500” in the closures paragraph, followed by “after next year increased at 5000.” Use clearer topic sentences and connect each figure explicitly to its year and series. More precise referencing would help the reader follow the changes.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant chart terms, including “opened,” “closed,” “stable,” “growth” and “dropped,” so the general subject can be recognised. However, vocabulary is basic and often repetitive, and several inaccurate forms or combinations strain understanding: “highly openings,” “shopsthat maked,” “new openind shop,” and “graph was sharp fell.” These are primarily word-choice, word-form and spelling problems. Aim to use standard reporting expressions consistently, such as “the number of shops opening,” “fell sharply,” and “remained stable.” A wider range of accurate verbs for rises, falls and fluctuations would allow you to describe the data more clearly and avoid repeating “graph” in nearly every sentence.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to report changes over time and use some time references, but sentence structures are very limited and errors occur throughout, sometimes making the intended meaning unclear. For example, “Overall, in 2011 highly openings was new shops” has problems with sentence structure, agreement and word order, while “After graph was sharp fell stop at only 4000” does not form a grammatical clause. Tense and verb patterns are also unreliable in phrases such as “graph was also climbed” and “graph was dipped.” Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, for example, “The number of openings fell sharply to about 3,900 in 2012.” Accurate simple sentences should come before attempts at more complex structures.

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