Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The picture depicts the number of shops that are open and closed in a particular country between 2011 and 2018.

Overall, shop opening generally decresased ,while shop closures fluctuate throughout that period.

The number of shop openings decreased from 8500 in 2011 to 3000 in 2012.It then increased slightly to 5000 in 2013 .

The number number of shop closures decreased dramatically from 6000 to 4000 in the year 2014 and 2015 with a slight difference of 1000.

In 2016 ,2017,201

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the topic and gives a brief overview that openings generally fell while closures fluctuated. However, it reports only a small part of the graph and contains important inaccuracies: openings fell from about 8,500 in 2011 to 3,900 in 2012, not 3,000, and the account of closures from 2014 to 2015 is incorrect—the figure drops from about 6,500 to just 600, not from 6,000 to 4,000. The final sentence is unfinished, and most later data are not described. The response also contains 81 words, below the required 150, so the task is only minimally covered. To improve, provide a complete overview and accurately compare the main peaks, falls and end values across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, an overview and separate statements about openings and closures. The sequence begins logically, and phrases such as “Overall” and “The number of” help signal the topic. However, the report does not progress through the full period, and the final fragment, “In 2016, 2017, 201”, leaves the reader without a completed idea. Connections between the figures are also limited, so the response reads as disconnected observations rather than a developed summary. Organise the body into clear comparisons—for example, early changes and later trends—and use linking expressions to show contrast and sequence. Complete each sentence and ensure the overview leads into the details.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary is sufficient to identify the subject and describe basic movement. Phrases such as “decreased dramatically,” “increased slightly” and “fluctuate” show some awareness of trend language, while “shop openings” and “shop closures” are relevant terms. However, the range is narrow and some choices are imprecise: “shops that are open and closed” does not clearly express the numbers opening and closing, and “with a slight difference of 1000” is unclear as a description of the sharp fall in closures. There are also spelling and typing errors, including “decresased” and the repeated “number number.” Use precise chart language such as “the number of shops opening” and “fell sharply,” and proofread for spelling and repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response uses mostly simple sentence patterns, with a few attempts to combine information, such as “It then increased slightly to 5000 in 2013.” These sentences are generally understandable, but grammatical control is inconsistent. The overview has a punctuation and spacing problem in “decreased ,while,” and the closure sentence is difficult to follow because several years and figures are joined without clear structure. The final line is incomplete, so it does not form a grammatical sentence. There is little variety in sentence forms, and the report would benefit from accurate comparisons using structures such as “while” or “whereas.” Write complete sentences, punctuate them carefully, and check that each comparison clearly identifies the year and figure.

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