Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The two line grpah illustrate the number of shops that closed while how many new shops that opened in the year of 2011 and 2018
Overall it can clearly be seen that number of shop opening throughout the period.While, shop closer also had a dramatical downfall over the period.
In 2011approxmimately 6400 new shops open conpare with 8500 closer.The number of closer fell down to 4000 in 2012 befor increasing gradually to 5000 in 2013 Meanwhile,shop opening rose to 5900 in 2012 this figure reach 7100 in2013 after the period it failing slight to 6500 in 2014
in 2015 the number of shop opening fell sharply to 700 and closer shows 4000 in the same year.However,Opening recovers significantly to 5100 in [redacted phone] in 2017.In Contrast,closures remaint same until 2 years accounts for 4000 and slightly up to 4100 in 2017 while closure fell to 3000 by 2018.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response identifies both series and attempts to describe changes across the period, but the account is only partially accurate and the overview is unclear. The opening figures are reversed: closures were about 6,400 and openings about 8,500, not the other way round. Several later values are also confused, including the sharp 2015 fall, which affected closures (to about 600), not openings; openings were around 4,000. The overview claims openings increased throughout and closures fell dramatically, whereas both series fluctuated and openings ended lower. The response is also two words below the required minimum. To improve, give a concise, accurate overview of the main trends and select a few correctly reported comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
There is a basic attempt to organise the response chronologically, and expressions such as “Meanwhile,” “However,” and “In Contrast” show awareness of linking ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the series are repeatedly mixed up and some comparisons are compressed into long, unclear sentences. For example, the sentence beginning “In 2015…” moves between openings and closures without consistently identifying which figure belongs to which line. Paragraphing is also weak: the response is presented as one continuous block despite covering an introduction, overview, and detailed figures. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and details, and structure each comparison so the year, series, and value are unmistakable.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response uses some relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “fell sharply,” “rose,” “recover,” and “slightly,” so the basic meaning can often be understood. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems make the account less clear. Examples include “shop closer” for shop closures, “dramatical downfall,” and “the period it failing slight.” The repeated use of “number” and “figure” also limits precision, while inconsistent forms such as “opening” and “open” blur whether the writer means shops or counts. Build a more accurate set of trend phrases and check spelling and word forms before submitting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts to combine information using clauses and time expressions, but sentence control is inconsistent. Many sentences lack necessary articles or auxiliaries, and verb forms are often faulty: “the number of shop opening,” “this figure reach,” and “it failing slight” are examples. Punctuation also causes problems, with missing spaces after full stops and commas and several run-on sentences. These errors sometimes make it difficult to identify the relationship between the figures. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then add subordinate clauses only when the basic sentence is accurate. Check tense consistency when describing past data.
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