Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph gives information about the number of shop clousures and openings in one country between 2011 and 2018. units are measured in thousands.
The closed shops were almost nearly 6000 in 2011 and slightly reduced to 6000 in and then gradually increasing year by year whereas there a plunge in the middle to alomst zero but then it got increased again and remained constant till the 2018 after the sudden decrease.
On the other hand, the openings has started from around 8500 and the reduced and there was a rise in the middle of the graph while it kept on leaping till the end finally, this got ended up at 3000.It almost took majority of diverstions but new shops got a rise whereas the old cshops were closed and left decreased year by year in one country between 2011 and 2018
while the information is nt given completely this was the report after analysing
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
You identify the two series and the period, and you notice the sharp fall in closures around the middle of the graph followed by a recovery. However, the account is only partial and several key details are inaccurate or unclear. Closures do not rise gradually after 2012: they peak in 2013, fall to about 600 in 2015, then recover to roughly 5,000–5,200. Openings fall from about 8,500 to 3,900 in 2012, rise to around 6,200 in 2014, and then generally decline to 3,000. The claim that openings kept “leaping till the end” is misleading, and the overview does not clearly compare the overall patterns. Select the main turning points and report them accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response has a basic sequence: an introduction, a paragraph about closures, and a paragraph about openings. Phrases such as “On the other hand” show an attempt to connect the two series. However, the ideas do not progress clearly within the paragraphs, and the final sentence introduces confusing, unsupported comments about “diversions” and old shops being left behind. Several long clauses are joined without clear punctuation, making relationships between events difficult to follow. The opening paragraph also contains an incomplete phrase, “reduced to 6000 in,” which interrupts the account. Organise the response into a clear overview followed by one or two focused detail paragraphs, and use linking expressions only where the comparison is clear.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “plunge,” “increased,” “remained constant,” and “decrease,” showing an attempt to describe movement rather than simply list figures. However, the range is limited and some choices are inaccurate or unnatural: “kept on leaping” does not describe the openings trend, while “majority of diversions” is unclear in this context. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “clousures,” “alomst,” “diverstions,” and “nt,” which reduce the clarity and polish of the report. Aim for precise, conventional trend language and check spelling before finishing. For example, distinguish a rise, a fall, a peak, and a recovery according to the actual data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response attempts longer sentences and uses some time-related clauses, but control is inconsistent and errors sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “units are measured in thousands,” which needs a capital letter and clearer phrasing, and “the openings has started,” where the subject and verb do not agree. The sentence beginning “The closed shops were…” contains a missing year after “in” and several clauses joined without a clear grammatical structure. “This got ended up at 3000” also has an incorrect verb construction. Use shorter, complete sentences to report each major movement, check subject–verb agreement and tense, and punctuate clauses so that each comparison is easy to understand.
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