Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of shops that shut down or a number of new one that opened in a country between 2011 ans 2018, divided into those ratios.

Overall view of the dipict display the main idea of the lines and going up and down during the years, and in 2015 the closures shop fluchuating near to 500 and in 2016 its remainging stabel backnand in a 2018 shop openingsgoing down to 4000.

Open shopes in 2011 is on peak point round about near to 9000. in 2012 its come to 4000, in 2013 its going up to 5000, in 2014 its up to 6000 and going close to close shops. in 2015 its come to 4000 and its reamun stabel in 2016,17 then its going down to 3000 in 2018.

Close shops in 2011 ratio is down insteed of open shop but its going up by passing years and in 2018. in 2011 its up to 6000

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the two series and describe several broad movements, including the high level of openings in 2011 and their decline to about 3,000 by 2018. However, the overview is unclear and includes inaccurate or unsupported details: closures fell to about 600 in 2015, not “near to 500,” then rose sharply to around 5,200 in 2016; openings remained near 4,000 in 2015–16 and rose slightly in 2017 before falling. The account of closures is especially incomplete: it gives only an approximate 2011 figure and does not report the major fluctuations or the 2018 value. Select the most important comparisons and describe both lines accurately in a clear overview and supporting details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview and separate descriptions of openings and closures. The paragraph about openings follows the years in sequence, which gives the reader some sense of order. However, progression is weakened by unclear sentences such as “Overall view of the dipict display the main idea” and by the final paragraph, which stops after returning to the 2011 closure figure rather than completing the trend. Linking phrases such as “in 2012” and “in 2015” are repeated mechanically, and references like “its” do not always make clear which series is meant. Use distinct paragraphs for the overview and details, and organise comparisons so each paragraph develops a complete point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant task vocabulary, including “line graph,” “opened,” “closed,” “peak point,” and “going down,” so the general subject can be recognised. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice problems strain understanding. Examples include “dipict,” “fluchuating,” “stabel,” “reamun,” and “shopes”; phrases such as “close shops” and “open shopes” are also imprecise for describing the two data series. Aim for accurate, conventional terms such as “shop closures,” “shop openings,” “rose,” “fell,” and “remained stable.” Proofreading spelling and choosing precise trend vocabulary would make the report clearer and more appropriate to an academic graph description.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to report changes across several years, but sentence structures are very limited and errors are frequent enough to make some relationships difficult to follow. For example, “Open shopes in 2011 is on peak point” has problems with sentence construction and agreement, while “in 2012 its come to 4000” uses an incorrect verb form. The overview sentence beginning “Overall view…” is also difficult to parse because its clauses are not formed clearly. Most statements rely on short, repetitive patterns rather than a controlled range of simple and complex sentences. Practise complete subject–verb sentences in the past tense, and use accurate forms such as “openings were,” “the figure fell,” and “closures rose.”

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