Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.0)

this illustrates about the number of shops closures and opening during the year [redacted phone].comapratively ,shops are growing rapidly coming years

overall,The openings of shops are playing a key role in daily routine.It fulfills our needs and things.during [redacted phone] the urbanization and industralization extremely increased. industralization siginificane the growth of the country . it demonstates the purpose of the people in the country.

governmnets should create awareness of the shops .relevantly shops are rapidly increasing year by year.usually now -a-days comparitively shops super markets are increasing

rapidly. this effects the shop owners so badly

the super markets is the place where all essentials at one place.in 2015 at peak shops declined by a customers because of improper maintanence

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 2.5

The response shows only minimal engagement with the graph. It mentions the period 2011–2018 and refers generally to shops increasing or declining, but it does not accurately report the main patterns or compare the two series. For example, the claim that shops are “rapidly increasing year by year” is not supported: openings generally fall, while closures fluctuate and drop sharply to about 600 in 2015 before recovering. The statement that closures peaked in 2015 is also incorrect; the highest figure was around 7,200 in 2013. Most of the response discusses urbanisation, supermarkets and government awareness rather than the data. It is also 33 words below the required minimum. To improve, give a clear overview and select accurate figures and comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is some paragraphing, and the response begins by identifying the graph’s subject and time period. However, the ideas do not progress as a summary of visual information: the opening is followed by general comments about daily needs, industrialisation and government action, then a brief reference to 2015. These points are not connected into a clear account of the data. Linking expressions such as “overall” and “comparatively” are attempted, but they do not establish meaningful relationships between the figures, and the final sentence does not follow logically from the preceding discussion. Organise the response into an introduction, an overview of the main trends, and one or two paragraphs comparing the years. Use links to show actual contrasts or changes.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response attempts some topic-related vocabulary, including “shops,” “openings,” “declined,” “urbanization” and “industrialization,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, the range is limited and several choices or forms are inaccurate, such as “shops are growing” when referring to numbers, “industralization siginificane,” and “declined by a customers.” Spelling errors such as “comapratively,” “governmnets” and “maintanence” also make the writing less clear. Some phrases, including “playing a key role in daily routine,” are not useful for describing the graph. Build a small set of precise trend terms—such as rise, fall, fluctuate, peak and recover—and use them with the correct subject and figures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response contains attempts at simple statements and a few longer structures, but control is inconsistent. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are often missing, as in “2011-2018.comapratively,” and capitalisation is irregular, including “overall,The.” There are also problems with sentence structure and agreement: “the super markets is the place” should use a plural subject with “are,” while “in 2015 at peak shops declined by a customers” does not form a clear grammatical sentence. Articles and plural forms are also unreliable. These errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check agreement, articles, punctuation and capital letters before submitting.

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