Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The line chart illustrates the amount of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

It is evident from the line chart, the number of new shops that opened in 2011 to 2012 the amount of 5999 and the amount of shops that closed in 2011 to 2012, is minimum. While, in 2012 to 2014, the number of new shops that opened is fluctuates but the amount of closed shops in 2012 to 2014 of the cash 6100. After, the amount of new shops that opened in 2014 to 2015, the total of almost decrease but in closed shops the amount in 2014 to 2015, is minimum. While, in 2015 to 2017 the total of new shops is fluctuates and in the closed shops the amount in 2015 to 2016, is maximum but the new shops the number in 2017 to 2018 is 3000 but in 2016 to 2018 the closed shops the amount of increase.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the two series and the period, but the response does not provide a clear overview of the main trends, and several comparisons are inaccurate or difficult to interpret. For example, closures did not reach their minimum in 2011–12: they fell to about 600 in 2015. The statement that closures were at a maximum in 2015–16 is also incorrect; their peak was around 7,200 in 2013. You mention openings falling to 3,000 in 2018, but omit the striking high of about 8,500 in 2011. The response is 139 words, below the required 150, and this limits the detail reported. Add a concise overview and select accurate highs, lows and changes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows the time period from 2011 to 2018, and words such as “While” and “After” show an attempt to connect comparisons. However, the information is presented as one long paragraph without a clear overview or distinct stages, so the reader has difficulty following the main pattern. Several transitions are awkward or unclear, particularly “After, the amount of new shops that opened in 2014 to 2015” and the final sentence, which combines several time periods and series. Organise the report into an introduction, an overview, and one or two paragraphs grouping the data. Use linking phrases to show clear contrasts and changes rather than beginning fragments with “While.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “line chart,” “opened,” “closed,” “amount,” and “fluctuates,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive: “the amount of shops” is less suitable than “the number of shops,” and “the total of almost decrease” does not clearly describe a trend. “Is minimum” and “is maximum” are also imprecise ways to report the lowest and highest figures. Build a more accurate range for describing data, such as “rose,” “fell sharply,” “reached a low,” and “peaked at.” This would make comparisons clearer and reduce repeated use of “amount” and “number.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to use longer sentences and contrast clauses, but grammatical control is inconsistent, and many sentences are difficult to follow. For example, “the number of new shops that opened in 2011 to 2012 the amount of 5999” lacks a clear main clause, while “the number … is fluctuates” combines incompatible verb forms. Tense and agreement also need attention: use “fluctuated” for past data, not “is fluctuates.” Commas and sentence boundaries are often misplaced, as in “While, in 2012 to 2014…” and “is minimum.” Practise writing complete, direct sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use past-tense forms consistently when describing the chart.

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