Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line chart compare the number shops how much shops opened and how much shops closed in one country between in these year 2011 and 2018.

Overall, we have see the opened and closed shops started year 2011 then the quantity of shops started [redacted phone] the started opening and closing quantity. Then depened on the year the quantity decreasing start.

The shops opens started 2011 the opens shops had number was 8000. The shops closed number 4000. When started the opens shops quantity very high then depended the quabtity decreasing start. Because some time works problams and some time employe problams.

The shops closed started the year 2011 and the quantity shops 6000. The end of the year the quantity reached nearby 3000. Because these year work didn't good start. So owners suggesition shops closed thsese option is best. The closed shops was the year 2014 the quantity shops reached nearby 1000 is highest quantity decease after some time next yer the stable then the quantity sharply up and then quantity reach 5000 the year was 2015. Then next year 2016 to 2018 the quantity stable working and then quantity same.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies the two series and the period, and it attempts to describe changes over time. However, the overview is unclear and does not accurately capture the main pattern. Several figures are misreported: openings were about 8,500 in 2011, not 8,000, while closures were about 6,400, not 4,000. The account also says closures fell to around 1,000 in 2014, but the sharp fall occurred in 2015, to roughly 600; by 2018 closures were about 5,200, not 3,000. The explanation about work and employee problems and owners’ decisions is not shown by the graph. To improve, give a concise, accurate overview and select key highs, lows and comparisons without adding unsupported causes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic organisation: the response has an opening, an overview-like paragraph and separate paragraphs about openings and closures. This gives the reader a rough sense of the topic. However, progression is difficult to follow because the overview repeats vague ideas such as “the quantity decreasing start,” and the later account jumps between years and series. The sequence “the closed shops was the year 2014… highest quantity decease… next yer… 2015” is especially confusing. Linking words such as “then” and “because” are repeated, and some references to “the quantity” do not make clear whether openings or closures are meant. Organise the body chronologically or by series, and use precise references and simple transitions to show each change.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on “quantity,” “shops,” “started” and “then.” Some wording makes the intended meaning hard to understand, as in “the quantity of shops started 6000-8000” and “stable working.” There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “depened,” “quabtity,” “problams,” “employe” and “suggesition.” These limitations strain the reader, although the topic and the two categories can generally be recognised. Build a small set of accurate chart terms and use them consistently—for example, “number,” “rose,” “fell,” “remained stable,” “reached a low,” and “shop openings/closures.” Avoid inventing explanations that the graph does not provide.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few longer sentences and uses basic time references, but sentence structures are mostly simple or incomplete, and errors are frequent enough to obscure relationships. For example, “The line chart compare the number shops” lacks subject–verb agreement and necessary grammatical words, while “Overall, we have see” uses an incorrect verb form. Articles, plurals and sentence construction are also problematic in “The shops closed number 4000” and “The closed shops was the year 2014.” Some clauses are joined without clear grammatical control, making the timeline difficult to interpret. Practise accurate simple sentences first, such as “Closures fell sharply in 2015,” then combine them with controlled clauses using “while” or “whereas.”

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