Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph below illustrate the number of shops that closed as well the number of new shops that opned in one nation from 2011 to2018.

Overall, in [redacted phone] old retail were closed in the nation whereas, opening shops was begin from 6200.

In 2011, closing shop accounted for 8500.It then decreased from 8500 to 4000 in 2012 which show greatest down fall in closing shops. Following this, closed shop again rise from 4000 to 6000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the two measures and the period, but it reports very little of the graph and does not provide a useful overview of the main trends. Several figures are also inaccurate: the opening figure in 2011 was about 8,500, not 6,200, while closures were about 6,400, not 8,500. The account of closures falling to 4,000 in 2012 and then rising to 6,000 is also incorrect; they were about 5,900 in 2012 and 7,200 in 2013. The response contains only 77 words, below the required 150, leaving most years and comparisons unreported. Include an accurate overview and select key highs, lows, and changes across both series.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening sentence is followed by an overview-like statement and then a paragraph describing changes. Connectors such as “Overall,” “It then,” and “Following this” help show sequence. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the overview gives a different comparison from the later account, and the description stops after only a few points. The repeated focus on closures also leaves the relationship between the two series unclear. Use separate, purposeful paragraphs for the overview and the main details, and group comparisons by year or trend. Clearer links between each figure and the relevant series would make the organisation more effective.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant task vocabulary, including “line graph,” “number of shops,” “decreased,” and “rise,” so the general topic is understandable. However, the range is limited and several choices or forms are inaccurate: “old retail” is not a natural way to describe closed shops, “opening shops was begin” is unclear, and “down fall” should be written as one word and is not the most suitable collocation here. There are also spelling errors such as “opned.” Use precise terms such as “shop closures,” “new openings,” “fell sharply,” and “recovered” to describe the data, and check spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more extended sentence forms, including “It then decreased from 8500 to 4000 in 2012,” and the meaning is generally recoverable. However, errors occur frequently in sentence construction and verb forms. For example, “The line graph below illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, while “opening shops was begin from 6200” has an incorrect verb construction. The phrase “which show greatest down fall” also lacks agreement and an article, and punctuation is inconsistent, as in “8500.It.” These errors make some statements difficult to interpret. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and basic sentence patterns, and check agreement, articles, and spacing around punctuation.

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